This comment was by Tim Wade in reference to the post – Your Only Choice When Your Separation Absolutely Sucks
I am not in a separation, but nearing the end of divorce proceedings. But I fully recognize how I felt immediately after she “dropped the bomb.” I too was looking for a rudder in a boat that was taking on water fast. And, as I had so many times, I looked to her for direction. How off balance is that? She tells me that she’s leaving and I expect her to also tell me what I should be doing… or feeling… or thinking! I turned to her for validation yet another time. And what did that do? Confirm to her that her decision was the right one. Confirm to her that I was a boy in a Man Suit asking mommy to fix it.
Well, I’m still in the middle of it, but I have found my rudder. I am charting my own course now and taking actions that will support the life that I want to build for myself. I am embracing the freedom of not needing permission, validation, or endorsement from anyone else but me.
Perhaps if I had begun this new relationship with me long before this, I wouldn’t be where I am now. But I did not know then what I know now. And I don’t have to bring the old baggage into my new life.
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