This comment was by Scott Barton in reference to the post – Men’s Inner Eden, Why We Need to Get Back There and How Women Can Help
Beautifully written Steve! You eloquently touch the core of a state many men find themselves in. Indeed we yearn to experience that magical place of uninhibited vulnerability. That place where we can starkly naked (figuratively and literally) in the presence of a loved and trusted other.
You are so correct in stating that though most men long for this raw openness but most are too afraid to go there for fear of moving outside the man box and losing their masculine sense of identity.
While I believe your statement that women taking the initiative in helping us find that key is quite accurate, I personally feel that by simply by creating the space for men to be raw and vulnerable affords a comfort and safeness that allows men to find that key and open the door. It seems all too often we that even when women encourage men to talk about our feelings, wants, needs and desires we simply refuse—there is a sense of demanding here. On the contrary, it seems cultivating this space through slow nurturing and patience allows men to enter this realm at their own pace—perhaps they feel less pressured in a sense.
Though I am probably younger than some of the elder men you write of, I have been fortunate to experience this kind of raw emotion and vulnerability in the presence of someone I loved. Unfortunately, these relationships don’t always last forever and the personal tumult that can result can be untold and lead to numbing and guarding for fear of being hurt again. While this is something all humans battle, and it becomes more difficult to allow ourselves to enter this space the more we are hurt, I still remain hopeful that I get to experience it again—and I hope that next time my partner creates the space for it to happen and allows me to once again move through the process at my own pace.
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