The choice of permanent birth control should be a joint decision.
This comment was by James in reference to the post – There is Nothing Wrong With Wanting Your Husband to get a Vasectomy
This would come across a lot better if the conversation was less demanding and more a joint decision by the two people involved.
I agree with the logic that it is generally less invasive for a guy to get his tubes tied than a woman. So, barring a woman having a C-section and having her tubes tied while they are in there, there is a logical reason for a man to have the surgery in the event that both parties decide that mostly permanent birth control is the way to go.
But, playing the “I had three kids” card doesn’t come across like a joint decision. It seems like an order.
And that’s not cool.
It would be like a husband demanding that his wife have another child that she doesn’t want.
It would be like a husband demanding that his wife get her tubes tied in the event that they get divorced and he wants kids with a future wife.
Those types of things aren’t cool either.
My ex-wife and I knew that we were done after we had our third child (who was our first daughter.) I agreed with the logic that it was easier for me and my ex-wife even did research and found a doctor that did a method that reportedly healed faster than older school procedures did.
The surgery was one of the worst experiences of my life because I wasn’t knocked out for it. But, I am happy with the results.
But, the key was that we came to a joint decision and there wasn’t an ultimatum laid down either way.
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