This comment was by Richard H. Gatley, Ph.D. in reference to the post – Why is Emotional Healing So Much More Difficult For Men?
A better alternative to bars are mens groups, where men are dedicated to helping each other deal with life problems. For many years, I and a co-therapist worked with men in group therapy, in a department of psychiatry at Kaiser Permanente in Santa Rosa, CA. It was easier for men to talk about their pain and anger and grief with other men. Those groups became important enough that sometimes the men chose to continue their group after the group ended at Kaiser.
Men often have good reason to fear couples therapy, because marital or relationship therapy is too often conducted in the feminine language, with feminine goals. Husbands were often surprised when I would ask them what they wanted. They figured the therapist was in league with their wife, only interested in what she wanted. Both parties have to get something. It has to be clear that the guy isn’t going to have two people ganging up on him.
See Engaging The Dragon if you would like to know more about this.
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Men often have good reason to fear couples therapy, because marital or relationship therapy is too often conducted in the feminine language, with feminine goals.
Interesting. We see so many cases where if masculine language or goals dominate there is a concerted effort to change it to make room for the feminine. But in areas where feminine language seems to dominate we have yet to see an effort to make room for the masculine……