This comment was by Pat in reference to the post – Parenting and Creating a Culture of Constructive Anger
This post is just what I needed.
My girlfriend’s child is difficult. First, he is not my child. Second, I certainly don’t want to cross that line that you elaborated on above.
However, I believe that it is fair to say that poor behavior and blatant disrespect and disregard will get one’s ass kicked in an adult world. It has gotten to a peak where the kid swung on me with all of his might. Obviously, I didn’t hit back.
However, I did let him know my strength by picking him up from under the armpits and forcibly seating him into a chair. At this point in time, he knew that he didn’t have a chance.
I was then able to talk with him after he calmed down and surface some really deep shit. I mean.. really deep shit. Questions like… “Why do you feel the need to disrespect your mother and your brothers?” “Why do you say you want to move in with your dad when he has not been here for you? I’m here for you.
I am doing my part to prevent you from behaving like this when you become an adult. This behavior doesn’t work in the real world.”
All of these questions were asked in a way that was not passive aggressive, but curious and caring. For one, his answers to these questions were intriguing. He used his own words as a mirror which created an amplifying effect that made him force his critical thinking. I was very proud and happy for him.
However, I don’t know how this particular incident of mine would work in public… that is up for debate.
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