This comment was by Cofressi in reference to the post – We Need to add Men to the Conversation About Rape—But Not in the Way You Think
Many thanks for this. You’re absolutely right. We do indeed exist, in larger numbers than most people would believe. We always have.
You’re also right about what’s keeping us silent and invisible (and, if anybody’s concerned about this aspect, our perpetrators unpunished and on the loose, free to victimize others): “the lack of a safe space to share [our] story.” These simply don’t exist, in any country in the world.
If it’s to make any difference, though, both individually and societally, these safe spaces can’t be privatized. A lucky few have wives, girlfriends (or boyfriends), close male friends, and so forth, with whom they can speak about this. But that’s not the solution. It puts too much of a burden on the confidant, who is also likely, through no fault of his or her own, not to know much about sexual violence against men—or sexual violence in general—and how to respond appropriately to it. Much more importantly, it keeps us isolated one from another. We all think we’re the only one to whom it’s happened, and the valuable knowledge (quite apart from possibilities of mutual support) that we possess about this dreadful social scourge is being lost.
We need institutions. Responsive and effective agencies, geared to our needs and shaped by our experiences. The lack of them, as the article correctly indicates, is literally killing us.
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