Is cheating just the result of not dealing with relationship issues?
This comment was by Jay in reference to the post, Yes, Men Really Are Hardwired to Cheat, but So Are Women
Being wired or not wired isn’t really the point here. We were wired once to do a great many things that we no longer do.
Cheating or not is always a choice – and it’s a choice we tend to make because we are too frightened or are living in fear of making any other.
Men and women will always choose to avoid pain rather than pursue pleasure. It never occurs to the cheater that, by addressing the difficulties in your relationship, you can create a new and more vibrant life for yourself and actually feel the pleasure of doing so. No, instead they choose to avoid the pain of dealing with the relationship issues.
That too is hardwired into us (after all, who would knowingly stick their hand into a flame?) Until we learn to forgive one another – and more importantly – ourselves, people will continue to choose to avoid pain and act out – rather than facing the one you love – or no longer love, and being honest and authentic about your feelings.
Demonizing people, punishing them, even killing them, only serves to perpetuate the cycle.
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