This comment was by Mike Allison LMFT, ACS in reference to the post – Why Couples Stop Having Sex: The Paradox of Yes in Saying No
All sex is consensual. Without consent, it is violence and rape. Compliance, i.e. I’m doing this out of an obligation or demand or emotional threat, is not compliance. That means when your partner is merely consenting, what is happening, isn’t it a form of violence, even if it is just emotional. Yes means Yes, everything else means “NO.”
However, there is another point that this article is skipping over. Why won’t the pill just put her in the mood? Because being in the mood is about being safe, being relaxed, mindful, in the moment. It takes time and energy and what the pill cannot provide is the time. Setting aside real time to be intimate and involved with each other is the key to maintaining intimacy. No testosterone shot or pill or beverage is going to make up for the time. And if you make the time for yourself and your partner, they may be more interested in saying YES!
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Just a minor correction to at least the way I understand it. No means absolutely not. Yes means maybe (Which should mean no to you.). And an enthusiastic yes means yes. I hope i have that right.