This comment is from Helis on the post “Dating Out of Your League“
I see many posts saying “there are leagues”. Maybe they only exist because we assume they do and we act accordingly. My friends Jeff and Amy have been dating for 3 years now, and people could easily assume that he’s way out of her league. He’s tall and handsome, he’s a bit older and already has a good job and a good situation. She’s plain, doesn’t know how to dress, nor how to use make-up and is still a student. But she’s got a golden heart, she’s probably the kindest person I know, and she’s very smart too. How did she get him? I have no idea, because she’s quite shy, and had never had a real boyfriend before. 3 years later, they are about to live together, and they’re most happy. Why? Because Jeff was smart enough not to think leagues exist or that she was not good enough for him. Maybe just because they didn’t ask themselves those silly questions about appearance and just realized that they got along well and had many similarities (other than looks).
I myself am not the hottest girl in the world. My body looks good but my face is boringly common, and I hardly ever bother to put on make-up. I dress not to look pretty but to feel comfortable, which means no high heels, no slim pants, no mini-skirts, no deep clivage. My boyfriend regularly gets approached by girls prettier than me (sometimes in front of me!) and I used to think I was way out of his league, until I realized the only league he wanted to be part of was mine.
To all the guys who have been rejected by hot girls, and to all the girls who have been ignored by a handsome guy :
If they only notice your looks, it tells more about themselves than it does about you.
As a third example :
A friend of mine, let’s call her Zoey, had a friend who had a crush on her. She always thought he was really really really NOT handsome, (the word “disgusting” might have passed her lips once or twice). She liked him as a friend, but nothing more. Years later she went through a very hard time in her life, and he was there for her, and they became muche closer. Guess what… they’re moving together in a month. That’s three examples, and I don’t know that many people. Leagues exist because we allow them to exist. I agree that it’s not possible to date someone you’re not attracted to, but the attraction can come from somewhere else : talent, sense of humour, intellect, culture…