How did you learn to express your emotions instead of stifle them? Did it take practice or did it come naturally once you figured the toxic logic of expecting men to be eternally stoic?
These are comments by on the post “Mental Toughness Has Nothing to Do with Being a Hardass“.
David Kaiser said:
Emotions always come out, and often at the worst time. We need to learn to work with them, not tamp them down harder.
A lot of men need to learn, too, that anger is often just a cover of some other emotion, since they’ve learned that anger can be OK, but fear, sadness, and shame are not.
Boysen Hodgson said:
Great article. Thank you. For adult men — often the practice of learning to take responsibility for emotional states (or even understanding them) can take an extraordinary experience. I’ve been a part of an organization for almost 10 years that creates a crucible for men to get in touch with authentic toughness and get skills for ‘being with’ emotions that men may have been pushing down for years. Check it out: ManKind Project.
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Men are not expected to be eternally stoic. Period. I’m a man and I’ve never heard it, never seen it taught, never had any experience with it. Men are expected to take care of business when business needs to be taken care of and if that means tamping down anger or fear until the thing is over, that’s what you do. There are no medals for failing at something because you had to take an emotional time out. Especially when the striving is on behalf of others. If you lose, they lose. Sometimes business may mean a career of eating… Read more »