This is a comment by Random_Stranger on the post “Cracked.com on Misogyny“.
You know, I’m going to express the minority opinion here and come out and say that Wong’s article actually resonates with me as a man. Is it pure hyperbole? Sure, but he only errs in magnitude and uniformity, he’s otherwise directionally correct.
Try as we may, sex scandals are simply “of men”. From the embarrassing & risky, to the degrading & criminal, if it involves sex, you cannot deny that the fools and the predators are overwhelmingly male. And as men, like it or not, we have to own that. It is an inextricable extension of masculinity and not an equal opportunity aberration. Every man can recall a moment of shame and self-loathing when he lowered himself to sake his lust. We have to know that we share the same fundamental mechanics with the men in the news and that if not but for the grace of god, we too could go down that dark place.
Wong also does makes a reasonably sound suggestion when he ties our lasciviousness to our perception of women and potential misogyny. Its not just our unrelenting sex drive that causes us such shame and recklessness, its the scarcity of desiring reciprocal partners that leaves us dogs. Can I be physically aroused against my will as Wong suggested? Sure, but my day to day is far more subtle. Everyday, I notice women; I glance involuntarily and my desire is to be noticed, to be wanted, in return. I want to feel as though I am an equal to this woman. But more often than not, our glances are ignored, we are rejected, we are reminded that we are less equal. We are left envious of her wealth of sexual choices, her lack of equivalent hunger and angry at our relative poverty and vulnerability. We desire not to feel that way, and some men have sought to protect themselves by removing temptation and limiting women, other men simply lash out.
Of course, we accept that we cannot justifiably punish women for our preordained precariousness. But today, many men are left feeling incredulous with women’s sense of moral superiority at our sexual degradation. Its as though the wealthy are complaining of the offensive stench and unsightliness of the rampant homelessness in their midst.
Photo credit: Flickr / Aimanness Photography
I’m not owning anything that i myself didn’t play a part in.
I see men around me paranoid and fearful of their own sexuality, all because they’ve been made to believe that they’re monsters.
Some guy gets caught with his pant down and all of a sudden every man over the age of 21 has to start defending himself.
“what does this say about men?” or “what does this say about masculinity ?”.
Yes, I will man up and agree we men create our own sexual drama.
However, women are equally guilty of lusting AND availing themselves. They have more choices. Hence, they have more freedom. It’s just that they are more cunning and careful. In essence their lusting and lasciviousness is on the down low so to speak. It is played out through friends with benefits, booty calls, hookups etc.
I love my masculinity and make no apology for it.