This is a comment by Michael Taylor on the post “What Happens When We Don’t Teach Our Boys About Sex“.
This article (and of course Jayson Gaddis) is the reason I remain optimistic about the future for men in general. Finally, men are beginning to get real about sexuality and how confused most of us are about it. The negative impact on our psyche caused by the over proliferation of sex throughout our media has damaged us in ways most of us aren’t willing to admit. By “putting it out there” we provide an opening for men to speak their truth about the shame, fear and uncertainty about sex that drives so many of our sexual addictions and dissatisfaction around sex. This dialog can be the opening some men need to truly transform their beliefs around sexuality. Kudo’s Jayson for sharing your truth.
I would also add that the time has come for us as men to not be afraid or ashamed of teaching our young boys, young men and grown men that sexual conquest is not a gauge for manhood and that we should encourage our males to be comfortable with creating loving, emotionally honest, spiritual partnerships in which we proudly proclaim our love and adoration to our partners. We should be able to share how wonderful it is to be in committed relationships which nurture and sustain us. No longer should we encourage men to validate their masculinity by the amount of women they sleep with or conquer.
As a father of two grown men (31 & 28) I can proudly say that as a result of dealing with my own shame and confusion around sex, I have taught my sons the importance of intimacy and connection in relationships and encouraged them to always be open and honest with me about any aspect of their sexuality. As a result, they both maintain authentic relationships with women that makes me proud beyond words.
The good news is that more and more men are becoming conscious and open to this dialog and it fills me with optimism about a complete shift in the male paradigm of this country and beyond.
Photo credit: Flickr / results MAY vary