This is a comment by Drew on the post “Why Forgiving Others Makes Life Better For You“.
“Anger is a valid emotion, and there are things worth being and staying angry about. Anger is just as valid and positive an emotion as any other, when properly directed as an agent for change, whether in one’s personal life or in society at large.
“On the flip side, letting anger run unchecked in one’s life is certainly not a good idea, it’s harmful to both emotional and physical health. But trying to purge anger from one’s system before it is fully processed is also damaging to emotional and physical health. Until a person has fully grieved their injury and concomitant losses, genuine forgiveness will remain elusive. And that is all right. Coming to terms with injury and abuse has no timetable and anyone pushing someone to forgive before they are ready is, quite simply, perpetrating another form of abuse.
“My experience is that very few people abused as a child really comprehend the extent of the injuries inflicted by childhood abuse, and the toll it has taken in their lives, until they have reached ‘a certain age’ (which I would suggest is late middle age or older for many people). I would further suggest that forgiveness is not a verb (something a person DOES) but rather a place (a state of mind) that a person gradually arrives at, as a natural outcome of doing one’s internal work.”
Photo credit: Flickr / sk_vel