This is a comment by Hot-tall-intelligent-mature-
“Yes, AY! So there is an article here about the ‘guy with the really big belly.’ I’ve gone out with that guy. Not that particular guy in the article. Why? He was confident, caring, attentive, had great hands, was hysterical, and he was an active listener. Half Native American, retired-Marine Doc. If you are in touch with yourself, if your spirit shines through your 4-layer biosuit, if you are a listener, if you can genuinely enjoy yourself as you are, you become sexually attractive.
“And guess what? Anyone can have fantastic sex by themselves, without porn, focused entirely on themselves. There are healthy ways to channel your sexual energy back into yourself and not feel so ‘desperate.’ There are tantric practices that are literally like masturbation meditation. Or express it in other ways. Creativity is very much like sexual energy. It is not necessary to have an active partner all the time to have a healthy and vibrant sexlife.
“Turn off the TV. Tune into yourself. Then tune into your surroundings. Then tune into your prospective partners. It’s literally like magic.
“I’ve gone months, years without sex. Due to circumstances of life, due to choice, due to needing to heal a broken heart from a lost love. It happens. You have to stop judging yourself. That is extremely toxic.
“Guilt and shame are seriously like bad cologne or a fart in an elevator.“
Photo credit: Flickr / Bengt E Nyman