This is a comment by W.R.R. on the post “Heart and Balls“.
W.R.R. said:
Not only is this solid opinion, that not all will agree with (and that doesn’t make either side wrong), I have to point out that equating casual sex to “violence against women and ourselves” is both a grave show of ignorance about what real sexual violence is, and offensive to those who have been harmed by it. I expect those for whom casual sex is just fine, thanks, may feel offended by that example, too.
Casual sex is not “violence” done to anybody. It is a choice, one that meets the needs of many people whose opinions and choices are just as valid. Yes, I believe connected by the heart intimate sex can be wonderful; but other types of sex can be good, even wonderful, too. Also, men aren’t the only gender who sometimes enjoy and value casual sex; some women do too. Finally, porn has nothing to do with it… in my opinion.
a man said:
It’s not just your opinion! I feel pretty much the same. I don’t get this drive to position appropriate male (or female) sexuality solely as an extension of one’s emotional life/connections. Is it vastly different from saying one shouldn’t work unless they truly have a calling to some vocation? For most people, I would think that’s a ridiculous notion.
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Editors, why are all of these pro-life commercial comments being allowed here? Aren’t comments that have nothing to do with or that hijack a topic not allowed? In the original article where our (a man and myself) comments appeared, I reached an understanding with Damien the OP about it being incorrect, offensive, and a propagation of rape culture to equate casual sex between consenting adults with the word “violence”. Damien agreed to think of a more appropriate word. Now our comments are moved over here, to be bashed in a near personal attack by a topic hijacking pro-life person? How… Read more »
what happened to my reply to “Wellokaythen” 04/12/2013 3:29 pm comment.
Wow, this is exactly the kind of thinking that has gotten our society into a lot trouble. It is this kind of thinking that results in single mothers, absent fathers, dysfunctional families, children without meaningful males in their lives. Casual sex can turn into the creation of a life, unless of course you drive a sewing awl into the child’s brain while it is still in utero. That takes care of that bit of messyness now I can go back to having casual sex again and if it happens again, well there is always the sewing awl. And BTW that… Read more »
Casual sex with decent contraceptives is ok, there are a lot of people in relationships who have unplanned children you know and not all of them stay together. How about mutual masturbation, is that ok?
Let’s say the goal is to prevent unwanted pregnancy. That assumes the two people are both fertile. Casual sex between two infertile people should be alright then. Sure, condoms break, but a hysterectomy is unbeatable. (Dare I say impregnable?) Same with all homosexual sex, no pregnancy issue there. You also can’t get a woman pregnant if she’s already pregnant, so no problem there either. Having casual sex with a woman past menopause is also no sweat, so to speak. I think your message is showing a lack of imagination. If the issue is preventing contraception, there are LOTS of sexual… Read more »
Most people who are infertile, don’t know it until they try to have a baby. So any sex before that does not result in a pregnancy is assumed to not to have occurred during ovulation. Since life is a gift from God, no one really knows with 100% certainty that they are infertile(ie Sarah, Abraham’s wife was thought to be barren, but God blessed her with children in her old age). Men who have ostensibly had vasectomies have impregnated women, believe it or not see: http://www.nytimes.com/ref/health/healthguide/esn-vasectomy-expert.html. Hopefully the pregnant woman got pregnant while married and would not be fooling around… Read more »
“All other expressions of intercourse are selfish acts sought to serve a temporary impulse.” So?…. The vast majority of normally sexually healthy people have sex because it feels good, PERIOD. Children are the byproduct of heterosexual intercourse because evolution ordained it to be so, just like how sugar is vital for the brain’s functions, yet we eat sugar for the pleasure it gives us, rather than because we think we’re doing our brains a favor. Our evolution took care of that part already by making sugar pleasurable for us so we wouldn’t have to think about why we eat it.… Read more »
I don’t see what the big deal is. Just declare a fetus an “enemy combatant” or a “terror suspect” and you can do whatever the hell you want to it. (And when someone asks for evidence, refuse to give any because of national security reasons. I could tell you why my fetus is a terrorist, but that would compromise my sources.) Find a way to have an abortion using a firearm and just say that you were “standing your ground” against an intruder. Make it into a second amendment case. Declare that the fetus was going to grow up to… Read more »
LOL, this is funny. You are kidding, of course, right?
I don’t have the exact figures on this, but I’m guessing the vast majority of male vs. female violence takes place within long-term intimate relationships, NOT within a casual sex relationship. If anything, you could say that heart-to-heart, intimate, long-term relationship sex appears to be more dangerous than casual sex. Partners don’t beat you up when they want you to go, they beat you up when they demand that you stay.
What is with the fetish of conflating violence into as many non-violent situations as possible? I’m at a loss to understand why people would even consider casual sex to be violence against women….do the men not matter?