This is a comment by Kap on the post “What Every Man Should Know… About Cooking: 6/8“.
Kap said:
I don’t think it’s an issue of whether men can or can’t cook–it’s a question of why do they or don’t they.
The men in your house cooked growing up, still do. Great–maybe you should write about that. Isn’t that the point? To get a variety of male voices talking about cooking and what it means to them? I guess I must have missed the part where it says every household is the same or that no men ever cook.
I also don’t see how this project “feeds” any myths about men not being able to cook. (Quite the opposite, actually.) The bottom line is that one person’s experience (yours or mine) doesn’t single-handedly reproof the long-standing “Leave It To Beaver” stereotype where a man’s job is to be the breadwinner and the woman’s job is to have dinner waiting for him when he gets home. (Maybe the guy grills on the weekend during the summer–that would be okay.) That’s the way it still happens in plenty of households, and it’s a situation that’s worth interrogating.
I love to cook–am, incidentally, making black bean griddle cakes as I write this. Doesn’t mean I still wouldn’t like to hear about other men’s experiences in the kitchen–those who do cook, those who don’t, what men think men should know how to do, and what keeps men out of the kitchen. Specifically, I’d be interested in people’s thoughts about whether there is a cultural heritage element to it? In other words, do households that place more value on the Old World cooking traditions of their ancestry share the cooking responsibility more evenly across gender lines?
I’d also be interested in reading about people’s thoughts on the difference between “Chef culture” (cooking as Art) and everyday cooking culture (cooking as chore). What’s the percentage of male celebrity chefs as compared to the percentage of “ordinary” men who are the primary cooks in their own household? I’m looking forward to what people come up with.
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Photo credit: Flickr / cookbookman17
Some women in the kitchen will think you are doing something by just being in the kitchen. To combat this i demand any woman who i am dating or related to, to get out if they are not directly helping. My grandmother thinks its hilarious watching people storm out fuming and then wondering how a ‘man’ can cook such good food.
From age ten I cooked, as a teen I started and many times finished cooking family meals for 8. When my girlfriends stepdad died and her mom asked us to hang out at their house rather than my mom’s as teens, I cooked for the 2 of us to start and then ended up cooking for her mom also…. by 20 I was spending my hard earned cash on groceries. when We got our own place at 23 I cooked/shopped /planned…..and have been for about 30 years…..My wife is just now starting to learn to really cook, after our 15… Read more »
There may also be different ideas about what “cooking” is. Are we talking Gordon Ramsay or are we talking microwave popcorn? Some men may make all their own meals but don’t think what they do rises to the level of “cooking.” If you asked me when I was single if I cooked, I would say “sometimes.” In reality, I made food for myself every day and ate out very seldom, but it was a lot of heated frozen food and precooked stuff and meals from boxes. I fed myself, usually quite well, but I’d hardly call myself a cook. Perhaps… Read more »
I like to cook – but my fiancee feels it is her duty because she is the woman. She is from eastern Europe – and over there there is no feminism. Women are obligated to take care of the household and men are obligated to work hard and provide for their family. We are both happy with our roles in the relationship. However, that doesn’t mean that I can’t surprise her with a warm meal and a hot bath occasionally when she gets home……
I am a single dad, therefore I cook.
I also enjoy cooking more than my girlfriend. So, my guess is that when the day comes that we live together, I’ll keep cooking.
As a guy who’s a terrible cook, this is something I’ve definitely been asked before, and it can be frustrating. I would like to be a good cook, and I have made honest attempts to learn, but not everyone can be good at everything. As an example, during April I made a resolution to try cooking at least one new recipe each week for the whole month. It turned out disastrously, with each dish a failure that I had to eat for the next few days (when it was even edible!). So WHY do I not cook? I have several… Read more »