Do you spank your kids? If you do, why? If not, how do you discipline them? How did you decide what methods to use as a parent?
This is a comment by Derek on the post “I Don’t Spank My Kids, But I So Wanted To“.
Derek said:
I could have written this exact article … but I didn’t and you did, and I thank you for that! I have a 16 year old, an 8 year old and a 6 year old. Never hitting your children IS possible, and they can grow up to be good people, contrary to popular belief. At the same time, I completely relate to the rage bubble that comes from kids being little assholes. I don’t believe that physical discipline will solve that problem, instead it makes them a different kind of asshole.
Every time I hear an adult comment about how the problem with kids these days is you can’t spank them, it makes my heart sink…and pisses me off. Spanking kids is not parenting. Parenting is hard, lashing out with violence is an easy way out. Having patience is difficult, but that is part of being an adult. Talking doesn’t always work, and that is a challenge … kids won’t always get the message, but they’ll always remember how it was delivered.
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If I would not hit a child at 18 years-old, I would not hit him at 2 years-old.
An 18 year old has a far better understanding of the world though, so some discipline is required. Would you make an 18 year old sit in a corner or other discipline measures that are seen as acceptable on kids?
Different kids react to different methods, spanking didn’t work on me as I laughed it off but it probably worked on my brother. Personally I’d save it for dangerous situations, kid playing with a lighter? A swift smack on the buttocks but not too hard to cause damage. Just enough that a brain registers a lil bit of pain, but the noise is probably more important to associate it with bad behaviour. Of course it should be a last resort though, try other methods first. We learn not to touch hot things via pain hence why pain can be an… Read more »
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Pragmatist time. Forget for the moment about the morality/ethics of striking people out of anger. Does it actually accomplish what you want it to over the long term? I doubt it. I keep thinking that if spanking were such a great parenting tool, then why would you ever stop using it? If it’s such a useful method, then you should use it on your child for the rest of the child’s life. Flunked out of college? Time for a spanking. Failed to discipline her own children, your grandkids? Give her a whuppin, just like when she was little. The most… Read more »
What I always find interesting is this notion that there’s some one-size fits all approach to parenting. That somehow a discipline used in the past is somehow outdated because someone said “I do it differently” or that the new way is somehow better. As though every child were the same. As though ever situation were the same. As though every person has or SHOULD have the same mental space in terms of managing both. What makes my heart sink is the lack of compassion for a parent as a parent. My wife used to show me the posts of these… Read more »