What are your experiences as a stay-at-home dad? renaz talks about how experiences being a SAHD and the hypocrisy he got the brunt of in respect to parenting and gender.
This is a comment by renaz on the post “Are Fathers As Free to Leave Their Careers As Moms?“
My daughter had this fine fine hair that just knotted itself into an impenetrable mass. I tried the bedhead de-tangling stuff, combing it out wet in the bathtub, de-knotting it with a fine comb (which took over an hour and brought tears every time … ). Since I tend to be impatient and prone to frustration, it was a severe trial.
And yeah, I got the “you did almost as good a job as a woman” stuff too, mixed in with the a daughter needs her mother, you dress her funny, the side-long looks saying “we are uncomfortable with you at our play group”, the suspicious questions as I walked through the hallways of her school, and the subtle inquiries if my daughter was being abused at home. The ignorant attitude that my daughter — who has epilepsy — was contagious. (Folks, epilepsy is NOT contagious.)
They told me she would never finish high school — now she is heading to college. I still get funny looks when people find out that I am a creative and economical cook, that I can use a sewing machine, and that I know far more about house cleaning than most (between my construction work and owning a house cleaning service). I had one wit tell me that I would make some woman a great wife. She thought that was really amusing.
Looking back on it, I would make exactly the same decisions I made at the time, and if others can’t accept it, and don’t want to acknowledge it, then that is their problem. Sure makes me aware of some of the hypocrisy that surrounds parenting and gender, though.
Sure hope that the current crop of SAHDs don’t experience what I did.
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