This is a comment by Brian on the post “In Praise of Small Breasted Women“.
“I’m sure part of it is to do with the way our culture tells women to cover their breasts. A woman can’t go walking around with a completely bare chest, because we’ve created a connection between breasts and sex.”
Great quote. I honestly think men (and women) wouldn’t have such an obsession with certain body parts if they weren’t so taboo. I’m straight, but I can’t help but be turned on by bare breasts, ass, or vulva, despite the fact that I have my own. I think men would be far less transfixed with nipples if they just saw more.
Photo credit: Flickr / C.P. Storm
One of the funniest episodes of Seinfeld was when Kramer did Elains Christmas card and her nipple was showing ….. Laughed my ass off.
Excerpt from “Heaven, a novel” – exotic dancer, Eve, expresses her view on nipples: “Look at the Moulin Rouge in Paris. Whew! There’s a memory! What a fantastic show. Tons of topless dancers in G-strings on stage and an audience full of lovely couples enjoying the show together. The dancers wear no pasties, so it’s nipples and ass, just like we have here, but what a different atmosphere! What makes that show “legitimate”? The elaborate costumes? The choreographed numbers featuring several dancers? Men take their wives to these shows and they all enjoy without the stigma of being seen wallowing… Read more »
The problem is, Kimberly, that women are supposed to enjoy accompanying their husbands to watch naked women, but ask just ONE MAN to accompany their wife to watch naked MEN and then have hot sex…
“I think men would be far less transfixed on having sex if the just got more.”
I don’t think this is as true as that we’d be less likely to jump at the chance for sex with people or in situations that weren’t ideal for us. Men treat sex the same way dogs treat scraps on the street; we’re opportunistic feeders since biologically we don’t know when another opportunity (without our active pursuit ) will come.
Good point.
And, within a particular range, for many men the more sex he has the more he wants. Sometimes the libido increases as the frequency of sex increases. (I’ve heard this is the same for many women as well.)
Jaysus. We are attracted to breast because and nipples because a) they are beautiful b) they are a turn on. We don’t suddenly get turned on by women’s hands because they wear gloves all year. Is the point if we all walk around naked none of us would find erogenous zones sexual? Is that what we even want? Somehow to me this just seems part of making men feel wrong/bad about finding such a normal part of a woman’s anatomy when it’s function isn’t even sex in the first place. I love nipples. I love looking at them naked and… Read more »
I suspect if women really did wear gloves all year around then women’s hands would become a little more eroticized.Certainly a striptease with gloves would become even more exciting in that case. In a culture where nudity gets very closely related to sexuality, at least.
I think men would be far less transfixed on having sex if the just got more.
Cheers!
“I think men would be far less transfixed on having sex if the just got more.”
Sure!
We always want what we lack more…
The proposition: if nipples were more evident, men would be less obsessed with them. I think that’s probably true to some degree, but it might not make a very big difference. On the one hand, true, hiding body parts has a way of making those body parts seem more erotic when you manage to see one in public. In the Victorian era when women were expected to cover their ankles and wrists, catching a glimpse of a woman’s wrist or ankle was very thrilling for a lot of men. (“I saw the hair on her forearm. What a slut!”) It’s… Read more »
If you read through the Bible, you will find there is nowhere in it that nudity is prohibited. God never said the human body is shameful. We are God’s “workmanship” or “masterpiece”. The only thing you are supposed to be ashamed of is sin. There are several mentions of people being nude in the Bible but none of them are rebuked in any way. (King Saul, King David, Isaiah, Peter, etc.) Jean, I’m nude around the house all the time and vacation at nudist camps. I see guys and gals nude a lot at camp. No one is aroused by… Read more »
Actually, there are passages in the bible that refer to nudity, but most are within the context of sexual intercourse. For example, a common prohibition in the bible is “uncovering someone’s nakedness” which is generally accepted to mean exposing the genitalia for the purposes of sexual intercourse. There is also reference to the shame Adam and Eve felt at their being naked, and how they covered themselves (Gen 3:7) and later are clothed by god (Gen 3:21). I don’t recall a specific reference to breasts, however, as needing to be covered.
So, “uncover the nakedness” can mean, “have sex with”. So, you shouldn’t have sex with your sister, mother, aunt, etc. Seeing someone nude isn’t sexual. You don’t see air brushed, anorexic gals at nudist camps. You see real people. Overweight, moles, warts, scars and all. You learn that there is no such thing as a perfect body. It does help a person’s self esteem. As for Adam and Eve, they were ashamed of their sin. That’s why they stuck leaves to themselves and hid among the leaves. They were camouflaging themselves. Their coats of animal skins were the first sacrifice… Read more »
I was just pointing out references in the bible about nakedness and how I’m not aware of any prohibiting toplessness among women. But you’re writing as if that literally happened, when we all know that in the beginning there was a midget, a beer volcano, and a stripper factory. You learn that there is no such thing as a perfect body. I used to spend a lot of time at the gym acquiring one myself, now I’m more “meh” because I feel healthy is a more appropriate goal and I’m less concerned about being eye candy for someone else. A… Read more »
No such thing as a perfect body? That’s just quitter talk! ; – )
I did not use profane language and since the moderators allowed you to do that, then let me fill your ears! !Wash your nasty cussing mouth. Your answers are like jello….wobbly. Besides, they are full of weak male desperation to persuade weak females to strip. Are you that horny and desperate?? You need to find something better to do with your time, than to join other wet, drooling, mouthmales who need to see bare breasts to survive. I
Do you enjoy trying to use sexuality to shame him? “That horny and desperate”. Maybe if you read his reply you’d notice it’s about giving women THE OPTION to go topless. You think breasts should be private? Good for you, cover your chest for all we care. But don’t push your morals onto other people and assume they need to follow the teachings of your version of a god’s teaching. What gives YOU the right to dictate actions to others and restrict their behaviour? Your answer is full of religious shaming and desperate attempts to control others behaviour according to… Read more »
@Archy: “which one is the right way to live?”
For people like Jean, “MINE!!!” is the obvious answer – and the ONLY possible one. 😉
(other possibilities are not even considered)
Some people just love thinking they’re the Master of the Universe. 🙄
Wow, methinks you doth protest too much. You’ve internalized so much shame about your body, and those of others, and I think it really isn’t healthy. You’d best steer clear of San Francisco, New York City, and pretty much all of Western Europe where female toplessness is permissible. I’m wondering where in your bible it says a woman’s breasts are not to be uncovered. Off the top of my head, I don’t recall any passages that specifically relate to this. Would you be kind enough to refresh my memory? And are you really in a tizzy because someone wrote ‘damn’… Read more »
You are not at all even trying to defend any female. You are in fact labeling all females as sex objects whose breasts are meant to be ogled at and males as desperate, horny creatures. And what’s more you actually want this trend to continue! Women like you enjoy being perceived as weak, vulnerable and sex objects to men. Just look at the success of twilight series among girls. Now imagine a similar movie about a weak and mopey guy, who has no other quality besides being young and attractive, and who needs constant protection from others to survive but… Read more »
…wait, is this a feminist based site?
I know a moderator will jump all over my comment, because ite seems that whenever a female defends females, this blog site takes offense. Stop trying to get the women of the world to expose their breasts!! Enough already. Why don’t you men show your testicles oreeven your penises. The breasts are different for a reason and God does not intend for a woman to give up her private breasts, and stop being modest, to anyone except medical persons and mate. And yes to those who are wondering, the breast is not meant to show as it is for the… Read more »
Stop trying to get the women of the world to expose their breasts!! Last time I checked it wasn’t about getting women to expose their breasts but rather women having the option to go bare chested if they wish free of harassment. Why don’t you men show your testicles oreeven your penises. I personally wouldn’t do that but some other guy does then more power to him. But anyway how did we go from topless women to bottomless men? Wouldn’t that analog be topless men? The breasts are different for a reason and God does not intend for a woman… Read more »
@Jean: “whenever a female defends females” You didn’t defend females, you shamed both men, and women who might want to expose their breasts. @Jean: “Why don’t you men show your testicles oreeven your penises.” No problem to me. But, if I did, I’m pretty sure you wanted me arrested. 😛 @Jean: “Stop trying to get us naked.!!!!” Relax. We don’t want you naked, and we don’t care about your breasts. So, feeling a little better now? 😉 @Jean: “Can I get someone to see and understand this???” We have no problem in understanding YOUR position. But it’s just that, YOUR… Read more »
“… we’ve created a connection between breasts and sex.”
Don’t think so.
The breasts are “sexual” in themselves, because they are erogenous per se. So they’re quite different from culturally-sexualized body parts, like ankles or legs.
In other words, the connection between breasts and sex has always been there, because of biology.
OTOH, the more hidden or “forbidden” a body part is, the more it looks exciting and is emotionally charged.
So yes, men would be way less enthralled by women’s breasts, if they were freely exposed. But they would still find breasts “yummy”. 😀
Um, that delicious pit under our arms is also an erogenous zone. So is the mouth, neck, ears, face and many others. Sure, some are ‘more erogenous’ than others but to say the function of the breast as purely sexual because it happens to be an erogenous zone is a misnomer. I, thankfully, don’t have to hide my neck when I leave the house, even though it is, personally, one of the most stimulating places on my body. You say “men would be way less enthralled by women’s breasts, if they were freely exposed. But they would still find breasts… Read more »
I agree with Daggles on the neck thing. My neck is FAR more of an erogenous zone than my breasts, although I’m currently quite pleased with the aesthetics of my breasts (hence, there isn’t an issue of embarrassment or insecurity). A touch, a breath, or a bite or my neck sends shivers through my whole body without fail and turns me on quite a bit. A breast grope or touch is fine, but doesn’t quite compare.
I agree with this article. I am from India. Showing a woman’s breast( most of her body for that matter) is completely taboo in my country. Even in our A( adult-rated) movies breasts are never shown unlike your equivalent R-rated movies. If a woman’s breasts are seen by anyone other than her husband and other women she can be shamed to the extent that she can even contemplate suicide. Women are stripped naked and paraded in some of our villages as a form of punishment. This is considered as the ultimate punishment in our society for women. Such is the… Read more »
It used to be that a woman’s neck and ankles were considered sexy and were hidden. Women wore high collars and long skirts to hide them. Guys, are you turned on by necks and ankles or are they so commonly seen that you don’t even notice them? Couldn’t the same happen with breasts?
I disagree with the assertion that if we saw more nipples we’d not be attracted to them, mostly. If you are contending that the entire culture adopted toplessness as a norm (i.e. Stereotypical African tribes) then I miht agree, though there may be others factors involved in a culture not sexualizing the breast. But in our porn saturated culture, do we not see more than enough nipple? I’m married, I see boobs every single day. And it’s still awesome.
Apparently, from reading all the posts about breasts and size preference, there is a lot of power and mystery in the magic of covering and uncovering women’s breasts…men can’t seem to get enough of them from all the money that goes into porn and flashy magazines with varying amounts of cleavage on the cover….I suppose that’s what makes the world go round! Too much is never enough (at least, that’s what it seems to me!)
The problem with porn is that the breasts shown belong to beautiful women and are presented in sexual manner. If men would see breasts in casual, non-sexual ways on not so good-looking and ugly females and in day-to-day life, they won’t be so obsessed about them. Like men also like seeing sexy legs on attractive women but are they so obsessed with legs that they would just about do anything to see them? The answer is no because women’s legs can be seen nearly everywhere
…its called national geographic.
I wonder. Could it be that a lot of people find this to be true but simply do not want to go through those “growing pains”? Hear me out. I think men would be far less transfixed with nipples if they just saw more. In order for that to happen there is undoubtedly going to be a period in which women would be bare chested out in public freely and there would be a lot of men staring at a lot of women. Now I’m not saying that this staring is alright (and rude commentary and touching would most certainly… Read more »
Agreed, I think you have to grow up in a culture where breasts have no sexual connotation and I think in our culture, breasts will continue to have a sexual connotation for the foreseeable future.
All cultures have standards of modesty even if those standards differ. The most parts are usually kept covered even if it’s just a tiny loin cloth or grass skirt.
And personally, the thought of walking around topless sounds cold and uncomfortable!
*the most SEXUALIZED parts are kept covered
Not sure how that disappeared from my text…. Hazards of cutting and pasting on an iPad
I just want to argue many women find male’s chest attractive, but society doesn’t require them to cover up. I know the intent of this article is completely different from what I’m gleaning from this post and all these comments, but to me all boils down to prudishness. At the same time, however, look at the face shapes of humans compared to primates. The face shapes of primates are flatter, so of course breast size doesn’t need to be that big. If human women had flat chests, infants would practically suffocate trying to feed, so breasts in that sense don’t… Read more »
Whoa, first time I’ve heard that. Great point wrt suffocation, totally never thought of that.
Look up Desmond Morris, study the differences between human breasts and those of other primates, and then try telling me that link between breasts and sex is created by modern society. Because to anyone who understands evolutionary biology, that claim is just absurd.
The author has clearly never heard of 4chan.
Or the fact that the internet has been around for two decades now, and men still love staring at breasts.
Do you stare at sunsets?…a beautiful picture?…you’re child at play?…Same thing with breasts, except staring at breasts and the entire female form has been socially outlawed. Ahhh, what a loss.
This reminds me of a line from the show “Cheers” — Diane is telling Sam that he should be less obsessed with sex and she says, “What does sex have to do with a sunset? Or mountains? Or a newborn baby? …. Ok, forget the last one.”
The difference is that a sunset isn’t totally creeped out by your leering?
Noticing and leering are not the same thing. Thankfully, most attractive women understand the difference. In fact, rather than being “creeped out”, they like the attention.
the difference between “leering” and “noticing” is simply the amount of time looking. You don’t “notice” a sunset, you stand (or sit) there for a good 15 min and stare (or “leer”) at it. Luckily it won’t punch you in the face and call you a sexist pig for looking at it so long 😉
While covering the body does often add an illicit erotic mystique. Im not completely sure that obsession over body parts would disappear if everyone walked around naked. I dont believe that obsession over body parts diminishes substantially in the naturist or nudist community (I can never remember which is which, i apologise). I think of the commentary Ive read from naturist or nudist community online. Where they explain that desensitisation to being around naked people happens very quickly, infact often within a day. That it is the context in which nudity is presented that causes sexual arousal eg. seeing a… Read more »
another point ti add, is that women walk around freely in shoes that expose their feet, that hasnt reduced the eroticism of feet to straight men into women’s feet
I’m not really sure I see the problem here – for many people nipples are erogenous zones, so isn’t it only natural that they play a part in sexual attraction? Desexualizing *everything* is unnatural… and no fun! I think the fact that we are all hopelessly horny for each other is part of what makes the human experience beautiful.