This comment was by John Anderson on the post “My First Playboy“, about women and carnal desire.
I think most women need to “trick” themselves into believing that they’re not satisfying some carnal desire. Shows like Naked Boys Singing got lots of female audience members. I’ve heard that there are some bachelorette parties that take in the show. A lot of women I know wanted to watch The Full Monty for the nude scene, but in public would play it off as wanting to watch a good movie. A think a book tricks them into thinking that it’s the story that they’re after and not the sex scenes. Some of this is to conform to society’s expectations.
There are women I know that would go to a burlesque club that featured female impersonators on girl’s night out. I joked one time about getting a part time job at the only strip club in town featuring men (it went coed for awhile and has since switch to featuring women only). They started asking what nights I was working and seemed excited about watching and tipping me. I don’t know if it was fear of a stranger stripper or because we were friends, it seemed more fun than seedy. It would sadden me if women may not be enjoying strippers because they’re afraid of them.
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photo by toestubber / flickr
Ah the ye old “why don’t women consume porn and strippers like men” debate. When we have gender parity, the feminist ponders, will men lose the privilege of such indulgences or will women be free to indulge equally? The question pre-supposes men and women should experience sex consistently equally and that something, anything, must be the root cause behind the divide. Nothing would make me happier than believing women desire men as men desire women -it would make the world a whole hell of a lot simpler but alas, I think not. Our experience of sex is the essence of… Read more »
The thing is…many women DO desire men just as much as women, they just desire them differently. I crave men, sex, and even variety. Yet, mainstream porn, a cheesy strip clubs (usually overly muscled gay men doing silly dances), or a picture of a disembodied penis do very little for me. I used to be jealous of men because stuff that catered to their sexuality seemed to be everywhere, but where could I find stuff to get me off? Luckily, there are more things catering to women nowadays, as more women are ok with expressing and starting to understand their… Read more »
I don’t know if it’s self-deception so much as being cautious about expressing sexual desire to other people. It’s probably more about “tricking” other people than oneself. The big question is whether the “It’s just a good movie” camouflage is primarily for men or for other women. What I think is comical is the idea that so many American women are just now “discovering” the erotic genre for the first time, as if they had no idea such books were out there. Now it’s more acceptable to say that you’ve read an erotic romance, though it’s still best to say… Read more »
“Right. Just like the way I read Playboy for the great articles and go to Hooters for the fries.” I don’t know if that line would’ve worked in the 50s or 60s. Maybe it was the time I grew up 1970s/80s, but I always thought of that as a joke to not be taken seriously unlike with women saying similar things about The Full Monty or Naked Boys Singing. I guess a double standard I wasn’t considering is “what if you were reading it for the articles, also?” One of the women who admitted wanting to watch The Full Monty… Read more »