This is a comment by Adam on the post “Why Men Have Trouble with Initmacy“.
“I am familiar with the fear of the unknown that comes with fatherhood. My wife had a terrible hemorrhage when our oldest was born. I was holding my brand-new baby girl with her wrinkly forehead, totally quiet but clearly confused, watching my wife bleed out and wondering if I would be raising this tiny person on my own. I had no time for fear, I was calm. I held my wife’s hand and told her how much I loved her and how proud I was, how beautiful our baby girl was, and the midwives stopped the bleeding. Everyone was fine.
“It is scary to think about how your life will change with the addition of a baby. I think a lot of the paralyzing anxiety that many men feel is tied in with the fact that babies are considered a ‘girly’ thing. I got to hold my chemistry teacher’s baby in high school, I fed my oldest niece a bottle, and those were my only baby experiences until I had one of my own. Reassure your friend that lots and lots of men have zero baby experience when they become fathers. Everyone has advice, and you quickly learn what works for your baby. It is scary, it can be extremely frustrating, but being a father is truly wonderful and rewarding.
“I talked to my little son on the phone tonight, I said ‘Hi Henry, how are you?’ And to my everlasting joy he said, very firmly, ‘Dad!’
Photo credit: Flickr / Qole Perjorian