This is a comment by 1753 on the post “TubeCrush: “Homage to the Hommes” or Unauthorized Exploitation of Men?”
“Complicated question. Now, I’m going to start this off by saying that I’m pretty much a ‘men’s rights’ kind of guy, and to some extent I think it’s fair to call me an anti-feminist. Which is why I’ve put a lot of thought into this ‘guys getting some of their own’ idea. It’s a pretty common thing to hear when you try to talk about things where men have it bad. (Though I am aware that I might have become a stereotypical oversensitive feminist, only in reverse.)
“Generally speaking, I condemn this. Not just because two wrongs don’t make a right, but because I believe that if female culture picks up bad habits from the male side, it only make the problem harder to deal with as a whole. And of course, when it comes to objectification or pretty much any gender issue, women tend to get it worse. So in my opinion, if you are against objectification without consent, you should be against TubeCrush.
“However, I feel a ‘but’ coming. (*snicker*)
There is also a huge problem that a lot of men just can’t relate and to some extent don’t even want to try to relate to the problems women are having. (This is also a problem because it’s a hindrance to them recognizing their own problems as problems.) And people are just not going to do anything about things they can’t relate with. I see this as possibly the single biggest issue in the way of moving closer to gender equality.
(By the way: I like to call this public objectification without consent rather than just objectification, because I feel that objectification in itself is an unavoidable side effect of people living in conditions where they see way more than they could possibly relate to. But that’s another very complicated topic.)
Photo credit: Flickr / Chrissy-J
***Though I am aware that I might have become a stereotypical oversensitive feminist, only in reverse.*** I am a feminist and I agree with this statement. BOTH sides are chock full of over-sensitive people who have been hurt in the past and are making life hell for the other side. We all need to step back and calm down and start actually “talking” again. (It’s kinda like a bad marriage isn’t it? lol!) Personally, you don’t sound over-sensitive and I find your following statement to be very interesting and definite food for thought. 🙂 “There is also a huge problem… Read more »
Sadly, women are conflicted about appreciation from men, and therefore are conflicted about how to appreciate. A fair number of comments I receive on the street are actually well intended compliments, and being thin skinned and howling about the fact that someone NOTICED MY ASS is not really building a bridge to equality. If we learn from men to enjoy looking at the opposite sex boldly we might come to some greater understanding of the role of the physical. I think it’s important to challenge feminist women to appreciate men and voice their appreciation. It’s not always inappropriate to tell… Read more »
#Ele Munjeli
You make some very good and valid points. A lot of women appear both confused and confusing over the issue.
Last week my 15 year old son ask me to watch the X Factor with him. My first time ever watching such a show. I could not help but notice how the two women judges consistently referred to several of the men as “cute.” Now, what if the male judges had referred to a couple of the women as “hot” and “stacked?” Objectification? Hmmmm.
Just saying.
Well said, Ele.
Don’t you get it? Sexual Objectification is only wrong when MEN DO IT! Women can ‘rationalize’ anything (at least well enough to satisfy themselves) that they do! I live by a simpler code, if it’s wrong for me to do, it follows that it’s wrong for pretty much anyone (even members of the opposite gender). Apparently, Women don’t see it this way.
I don’t like the assumption behind the idea that when women behave badly there must be a male influence driving that behavior. Women take/look at these shots of men because they like what they see. In the process they also violate the privacy of these men who may not appreciate having their picture up there on the internet. It’s more about moral laziness than objectification. Liking somebodies physical appearance is not objectification. I think that their rationale is probably more along the lines of thinking that men don’t mind being sexualized in the way that women take offense at being… Read more »
“I don’t like the assumption behind the idea that when women behave badly there must be a male influence driving that behavior.”
That’s pretty much what we have to deal with in our daily lives.
As men we’re seen as either taking part in a woman’s awful act or driving a woman to do the awful act with our behavior.