This is a comment by Kaleb Blake on the post “Poll: Why is Our Society Obsessed with Modern Men and Manliness?“
“The problem that I had with the Don Draper peice in the NYT article, and with the reclaimation of outdated concepts of masculinity (we need to hunt, fix cars, etc.) is that men don’t HAVE to be those things anymore. And while it’s totally fine to personally identify with a more traditional archetype of masculinity, it’s no man’s business to push that on all other men. I’m sitting in a 9-to-5 cubicle right now…it blows, but that’s just the life of young Americans today. It doesn’t shape my masculinity, nor does my lack of wanting to hunt or fix things.
“If men want to teach their kids survival traits—hunting, fighting, fixing—that’s fine, there’s use in that. But don’t specifically teach these things only to boys under the conviction that this is what MAKES men. And people need to lay off the guys in cubicles, we could be developing the next product that will launch America out of this economic hell. Modern men are nuanced, they adapt to what it takes to be successful. Unfortunately, that’s not always hunting and gathering.”
Photo credit: Flickr / U. S. Fish and Wildlife Service – Northeast Region
Why are men so consumed with what it means the be a man? I don’t see women consumed with what it means to be a women nearly half as much. I’ve read several articles and studies about men being external and women being internal. Men do, women are. I wonder if this is why men are more concerned with filling their gender role because it is something external. focusing on what it is to be a human being is about being, not doing. Maybe this is why men see themsleves as MEN first and BEINGS second, because one requires external… Read more »
This reminds me of Bill Gates’ advice for young people: “be nice to geeks – chances are you’ll end up working for one”.
It’s kind off odd that one would make it more manly to fix your own car that to be able to pay someone else to do it – or to simply give priority to other things when deciding what to do with your limited time.
“Modern men are nuanced, they adapt to what it takes to be successful. Unfortunately, that’s not always hunting and gathering.”
What if what it takes to be successful is to lay aside your nuance?
At the heart of a lot of “manliness” discussion is something unquestioned and unspoken: a man must be ready to become a tool, an instrument, an expression of pure force of will. What Warren Farrell calls a human doing. What might sometimes appear to be an extension of the hardon to one’s entire being.
I’m sorry, Peter–I just became aware that I had this as a comment of the day.
My modern nuance is that men ” adapt to what it takes to be successful”–I don’t see how that can be laid aside to attain success. The whole point I made is that modern men adapt to an ever-changing environment that calls for different things to become successful. It’s pretty clear and applicable.
Right on!