This is a comment from Sarah on “Sex Makes Us Happy: A Modern Man’s Advice On Being Happy At Home“
From a women’s perspective I think you are spot on, but I’d like to add something to what you have written.
See, it’s not actually the dishes and the nappy changing that gets us excited, it’s feeling appreciated and valued and loved. If you want to improve your relationship (including sex) you need to identify your wife’s love language and speak it constantly. For some it is acts of service like helping out around the house, others it is verbal (being told they are loved), and others it is physical (back rub, holding hands, being near) – or it could be different again.
I think the most important thing we can do for our spouse and for our marriage is not to ask ‘what do I want and need?’, but ‘how can I be a better spouse?’ – all the rest will follow.