This comment by Steve on the post “Confidence Is Sexy.” This is the Kind of Woman that Real Men Love. A Confident One.
The lesson I got from the original article is that whether you are male or female, you should not feel ashamed about wanting the kind of sex that you want. If you want to have a variety of sexual experiences with a variety of partners, there’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t make a woman a slut, and it doesn’t make a man a creep. Yes, both are branded that way all the time, but that’s just stupid.
Just wanting lots of sex with multiple partners does not make you shallow or immature. If you’re a man, that doesn’t mean you’re afraid of commitment or that you don’t respect women. (Maybe you do, maybe you don’t.)
If Whelan’s search for lots of sex with lots of people is her path to self-confidence, self-actualization, individual empowerment, sexual agency, whatever, then the same should apply to men who want the same thing.
Instead, people want to turn this into some prescriptive thing about who’s a real man and who isn’t, or the women that I’m supposed to be attracted to.
I can’t help noticing that she has sex with men even when she doesn’t really know what they like about her. What they like about her is not really a decisive issue when it comes to her sex life. Most of the time she’s just guessing what they find attractive about her. The one guy told her “confidence is sexy” only AFTER they already had sex.
While we’re on the subject, is it really much “deeper” to be attracted to a woman’s confidence than it is to her body? I don’t think it is. The “confidence” she exhibits is largely a willingness to pursue casual sex. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s hardly deep.
Sounds like another lame pick-up line: “I think confidence is sexy.”
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Let’s start a Conversation:
Should we dispense with our obsession with judging the private sex lives of people (consenting adults and all…) and accept human sexuality in all its glorious variety and delights?
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Yes, we should. Some kinds of sexual behavior can be harmful to the individuum, even self-destructive (sex addiction, danger of STDs etc.), but still, being adult has to count for something. People are responsible for themselves.