This is a comment by Apolloapo on the post “Are Men Lazy?“
“Your preferred title still seems to be implying the same thing – that men are lazy if they don’t plan their careers around giving women what they want.
“As for your questions, yes, I initially did plan my career to allow the option of being a sole provider for a family, and I pushed myself hard (I certainly wasn’t lazy). I don’t think this way any more though. A man who pays attention to the divorce rate (over 50%) and the percentage of cases in which custody is assigned to the mother (over 90%), and to how men are devastated financially and personally by divorce soon comes to the conclusion that marriage is a very risky proposition.
“It’s ironic that now women seem to want the very same thing that Feminists, only a few short decades ago, struggled mightily to free them from. You know, the thing that they claimed was caused by oppression at the hands of men? Perhaps it wasn’t really oppression at all, and now that women have gotten to experience the great careers we men are so ‘privileged’ to have they decide that they don’t like them so much after all, and would rather have what they had before.
“Unfortunately though, society has changed. Now we have Equality. One of the outcomes of this are the serious risks for men now associated with divorce. We also have an educational system that favors girls over boys, with the result that women now outnumber men in University graduations, meaning less men in high powered jobs. And we have a trend of delaying marriage, meaning that men don’t get the signal from women that they should start preparing to be a husband until their late twenties/early thirties (giving them more time to realize their growing relative attractiveness to women, and to become more aware of the risks of marriage before becoming committed). Also sex outside of marriage is much more easily obtained than in the past. For some men at least. The men who can get easy sex have less reason to marry in order to get sex (why buy the cow … ). The men who can’t get easy sex (coincidentally the very same hard working guys who probably could support a stay at home mum) get angry and drop out when they realize the script of being a responsible, good, nice man doesn’t get them the girl like they were told it would.
“All this adds up to bad news for women who want to marry and be a stay at home mum.
“Only now that women have been given the ‘privilege’ of having a career do they realize it’s not really a privilege at all, it’s a requirement. Those women are going to NEED to work those jobs to support themselves, just like men do. Like men have ALWAYS done. Don’t complain ladies, you asked for it.”
Photo credit: Flickr / virgohobbs
@Apollo
I see what you mean now Apollo, my issue was associating equality with this new age radical & by many standards harmful ideology called feminism.
“Women are simply going to college in greater numbers. We live in a time where cognitive ability is rewarded….” The idea that the education system favors girls style of learning is not exactly new or revolutionary. Google it, you’ll find lots of support for the idea. And yes, I agree that more women going to college will lead to more women graduating. Thats fairly self evident. But as you said to me… have you asked yourself “Why?” Why men don’t even want to go to college that is. It’s not only because the education system stifles, bores and represses them,… Read more »
For the record Apolloapo – I am convinced that the educational system is feminine. Jules should simply ask herself how many male teachers she had between kindergarten and college and the answer will be clear. Further, she doesn’t want her son to play video games? LOL Video games are proven to improve performance so she’s already setting her sons back. At first it looks like a waste of time to play video games…but it’s also documented to have benefits when done a certain way. The reality is that as long as boys are primarily raised by women we will fall… Read more »
Simply utter bullshit!!! Women are simply going to college in greater numbers. We live in a time where cognitive ability is rewarded. Hence, a college degree in the appropriate field pays great $$$$. Take a family with a son and daughter in a middle class family. They will each qualify for the same amount of financial aid. Where they end up will depend solely on their individual initiatives, period. Yet when the opposite was true…..When More men went to college it was something that had to be “fixed” The deck has been stacked….Boys today are paying for the “sins” of… Read more »
“We also have an educational system that favors girls over boys, with the result that women now outnumber men in University graduations, meaning less men in high powered jobs.” Simply utter bullshit!!! Women are simply going to college in greater numbers. We live in a time where cognitive ability is rewarded. Hence, a college degree in the appropriate field pays great $$$$. Take a family with a son and daughter in a middle class family. They will each qualify for the same amount of financial aid. Where they end up will depend solely on their individual initiatives, period. Men simply… Read more »
“Simply utter Bullshit” Have you ever asked yourselves Jules, could there be more to the story then ” boys don’t want to study & they are lazy (video games) , or the other prevalent notion that the big problem stems from parents who should be doing a better job parenting boys when it comes to school. Even if you look at it from an ideology perspective , in which you believe men deserve what’s coming to them & since the Alpha 1% are still running things (apex fallacy ) & besides since my son is doing good then the millions… Read more »
“one of the out comes of equality in society is the serious risks for men associated with divorce ” The more accurate statement is : ” one of the many out comes of misguided feminism in society is the serious risks for men associated with divorce “. Men do not have to believe in the ideology of feminism to believe in equality & Since the whole discussion is based on the notion “we are all in this together ” as a statement of honesty & fairness it’s important not to dictate to the average man what to believe about equality… Read more »
I was attempting to use poetic license, referring to the continually reinforced association between feminism and equality. However, if you want to get technical, then sure, “misguided feminism” is a more accurate explanation than “equality” to explain the cause of the marital risks I referred to. In practice though, so many of the equalists I know of, especially those with power and influence, are also feminists, and they approach and implement equality with a feminist perspective. Consequently, while technically there is a difference, in practice I don’t think the distinction between the two is actually as great as you claim.… Read more »