These are comments by tgolden and James Nakamura on the post “The Man Behind the Mask“.
“Excellent article and great poem. It is so important for people to realize the barrage of shame that men face. Women tend to overlook this since they, um, are not men and don’t face the same barrage. I do have a quibble with the article which said ‘As an adult, you choose who you want to be and how you want to live.’ I think it is very important to note that men continue to face this barrage as adults and breaking free from it is not a simple act and certainly not a simple choice. The powers that are holding men into an ‘independent at all costs’ stance are multi-causal and ever-present. Men deserve choice, but they first need to raise their awareness of the powers that are driving them into the mask.
“I think it is also worth noting that trying to force men into a feminine ’emotional inquiry’ mode is often disrespectful of their nature and their unique skills in processing their emotions. Better for the therapist to learn more about men’s unique paths than to try and smash them into today’s feminine friendly theory about sharing emotions openly.”
James Nakamura added:
“Great stuff here. This is powerful truth that needs to be aired out. Shame is one of the most pervasive evils that suppresses men from fully integrating their feelings and thoughts. As you pointed out, it leaves us detached and lost inside. So many relationships could be saved if we would get out of this crappy mode of thinking that shame is the path to fixing us. It only brings out proper behavior without doing the proper inner healing that we so desperately need.”
Photo credit: Flickr / CarbonNYC