This comment is from wellokaythen on the post “Ladies Bleaching Private Parts…Men Are You Getting a Bad Rap?”
Somewhere out there is a man who is with an attractive woman who is ready and willing to have sex with him and who is perfectly sexy already in her own way, but… he just can’t bring himself to have sex with her because… her vulva is too dark. Mood ruined, can’t do it, I’ll just have to find another beautiful woman to have sex with me tomorrow, one who’s bleached.
Who are these people? How often does this actually happen?
Yes, those men exist. I really do not understand it, but I’m sure they exist. I can only imagine that this is a teeny, tiny, infinitesimal percentage of men. (I’m tempted to put them in the category of “people who don’t know how good they have it,” but that’s insensitive to real, valid sexual preferences.)
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image: “Puberty” by Edvard Munch oil on canvas 1894
I don’t believe that and even if there are some men who prefer bleaching, I doubt that it would prevent them from having sex.
Women are doing this to themselves.
Okay, I can see now how my comment seems to suggest that such a man is out of touch with reality or something. I didn’t mean to suggest he should get over it or he has no right to his preferences or orientation. Everyone has turn-offs, and I’m in no position to judge any of them, nor do I have any good reason to judge them even if I could. Just because something is rare doesn’t mean that it’s weird or out of balance or messed up or wrong. Certainly not. There’s no moral value indexed to something’s rarity. Some… Read more »
I think this also goes back to sexual compatibility, something that’s talked about a lot on this site. There are many aspects to sexual compatibility–similar sex drives, sizes, want of communication, kinks, jealousy issues, etc. Another one is having a similar amount of detail orientation. Some men and women are (or claim to be) very detail oriented when it comes to sex. They don’t like this, they don’t like that, a whole slew of things is a turnoff or too dirty. Others are more easily able to let things go for the sake of enjoying sex. Neither one is wrong,… Read more »
Well, from another point of view everyone has right to be turned on or off (off – in this particular case) by anything. Just as much as “dark vulva” doesn’t appear a turn off for me ( unless there’s something clinically wrong with it), I can understand that some little detail can ruin an attraction. For example – for me…ok, let me be honest – I don’t have a feet fetish, but if woman’s feet appear “particularily unattractive” to me it’s a turn off. They don’t turn me on “by themselves” but can turn me off. Is it weird?
Peter–it’s not weird, that’s just how you feel, sexually :). We’re all different. And I say this despite the fact that I’m the complete opposite…when I’m really attracted to a man, there is very little that could turn me off. Weird feet, hasn’t showered in a while, too much/too little hair, a penis type I’m not used to seeing, him farting, etc. When I feel it with a man, I just feel it with a man. And there’s nothing wrong with having a foot fetish or having odd turn-offs–just make sure you’re honest with yourself and not cruel or ‘leading… Read more »
If the woman were not “otherwise attractive,” then would that mean that the man’s refusal to copulate with her is justifiable?
Sure, but that just makes my point from the other direction. In that case getting bleached is probably not going to make a difference.
With something as illogical, stupid and disgusting as sexuality, one can never tell. For all we know, the bleached attribute is the one thing that makes intimacy with the person tolerable. And without it, the other person simply cannot bring himself to participate.
Absolutely true. That’s why I said “probably” and why I said “infinitessimal” instead of “nonexistent.” I have no stats to back up my assertion that this is rare. Just guesswork.
When people say dark, I immediately think of dark chocolate….ummm….anyway…a man who turns down a woman because of vulva coloration issues, is a man who needs to abstain for awhile, to get his head right….both of em.
(Good grief, of all the spontaneous, poorly conceived stuff I write on this blog, _this_ is the one that gets quoted? : – ) )
I couldn’t help it. And yes, you have a wealth of treasures in the comments. I rely upon you for sanity, depth and humor. But what you are saying here is just SO incredibly true. I think the same thing about women who don’t ilke guys with A, B, or C – I know that people are picky, but to what extreme? I just am not sure that there’s an equivalent for men’s grooming that is at all comparable to a Brazilian wax and an anal bleaching, which is actually super common in Los Angeles, where I live. I mean,… Read more »