These are comments by Ulysses and wellokaythen on the post “On Withholding Sex“.
“When there is a libido disparity, there can be a temptation to over-complicate the situation. New couples tend to be more generally physical. Sure, they know they’re likely going to have sex, but it’s a positive feedback loop. Couples with kids can talk about it. Or they can try making out again. Make out in the morning when sex isn’t an option because you have to get to work. Send flirty but not overtly sexual texts and emails. You’re still communicating your needs, but in a way that stokes the flames. Duty sex is rarely hot.”
“I think this is excellent advice. That may be my own bias from my past experience in he-wants-it-more relationships.
“It’s good to note that there are common misconceptions about men and women that both have about themselves and each other. Even people who know each other really intimately may still be way off about what really motivates the other. Very key for women to realize that men can actually feel real hurt from feeling rejected, and it’s not just ‘male ego,’ it’s actually a real emotion.
“What I appreciate most is the part where you say the lower-libido person still has some responsibility for the sexual relationship. Being the less interested party doesn’t give you dictatorial power over the sex life.”
Photo credit: Flickr / DieselDemon