This is a comment by Dan on the post “Fight or Flight“.
“Great video. I took a different approach growing up. I learned my violent method of conflict resolution from my parents’, who were always fighting. I was beat with belts, Sizzler tracks, and whatever was handy in the moment. My parents even had a leather strap fashioned for the specific purpose of modifying our behavior. My mother would drag us down the hallway by our hair as a taste of what was to come.
“I have lost count of the number of physical fist fights I’ve had. My last one was in college, but I’ve been close to throwing a fist well into my adult life.
“The only ‘pride’ I take in my violent behavior is my obsessive focus on thwarting bullies. I have never picked a fight or had one picked with me. I have only entered a fight to introduce balance – violent balance. I have always stood up for kids like the one self-described by the gentleman in the video. “Bullies make me angry and they only seem to understand one thing,” I tell myself.
“My children have witnessed my aggressive reactions to the behaviors of others. Always bullies. Always violent bullies. I have never raised a hand to my own children and cannot imagine doing so—ever! I have always told my children that mine is not a good example. I tell them how proud I am of their resistance to violence. I have told my son that he is the bigger man for not following his father’s example and that I would be disappointed if he ever entered a fight. I try to rationalize my hypocrisy as a carry-over from my childhood, which I also explain to my children.
“Neither of my children have ever been in a fight (19 and 17).
“I don’t think I’m cured, but age has calmed me down. I witness the behaviors of our zero sum society and I am reminded of those bullies on the playground (daily) and the one pulling me down the hallway by the hair. I can’t help but think the only thing these bullies will ever understand is an anti-bully engaging them on terms they can understand. I remain in awe of peaceful protesters and I respect them. I’m just not capable of a passive reaction to people overreaching, overtaking, and over controlling, simply because they can.
“I’m a work in progress.”
Photo credit: Flickr / Polina Sergeeva