This is a comment by assman on the post “Into the Arms of My Lover … Sweet, Sweet Porn“.
“But if the porn is preferred over real sex (when there is a willing and sexual female/partner present) then really, that person has a very different sexual preference than what is the norm in a relationship.”
There aren’t men who prefer porn to a woman. Actually it makes me kind of angry to hear this. It would be like telling a poor person that they are poor because they just like the lifestyle. There are men who can’t get women. In that case porn is their only alternative. I know many men who consume porn and even prostitutes. All of them want a girlfriend. Porn is a incredibly bad substitute. You can’t hug or kiss porn.
And no man wants a fantasy relationship. I don’t know where this stuff comes from. Even the weird Japanese Otaku who have relationships with pillows only do it because they are so fed up with not having girlfriend that they don’t know what else to do. The porn, prostitutes, pillows, Real Dolls, Fleshlights, threats of Sex-Bots all come from men who are bitter, angry, lonely, depressed and have just given up. They feel like they have tried everything and they just don’t know what else to do. When your desires are strong and you have no way to fulfill them you become frustrated and this is what happens to you. I have been there before so I know exactly what they are thinking.
There is a way for women to understand this. Its basically identical to being well-qualified, applying repeatedly to jobs and never getting anything in large part because you have never been employed before. It can leave you angry, bitter, depressed and plain dejected. Many women can understand this situation.
Photo credit: Flickr / Andrew Currie
I’m not sexually attracted to my wife. I can’t even stand to see her naked. I simply can’t get sexually aroused by her. So I prefer to masturbate and use porn instead. We have two children and I feel a responsibility to be there for them so divorce is out of the question. So yes there are men with willing partners who would rather use porn. There are many men out there like me that is one reason porn is a multi billion dollar business.
You may want to speak for yourself. As a man who has given relationships a try, I don’t feel jaded about failing in the past. People fail all the time. Its a part of life. However, I have since realized what I want out of life and what I don’t, based on experience. I don’t want someone to hold. (The warmth of the human body means nothing to me) I don’t want someone to love other than my friends and family (life is hard enough as it is to even want to consider raising a bunch of crying, so-to-be-entitled rats)… Read more »
Guys, google “MGTOW” and thank me later!
I’m in my late 20s and I’ve had several relationships with women, and all thing being equal I’ve always preferred porn. It’s just less needy. As far as I know I don’t have any psychological disorders and I’m reasonably good looking; no significant facial abnormalities anyway ;-). I just find porn more fun. I can move straight on to some other recreational activity without all the emotional hoopla and I can also see my friends whenever I like. A lot of my mates have the same view. I’m sure there’s a sizeable number of women who feel the same way,… Read more »
I prefer porn to sex with my wife and have for over 15 years. I think if it hadn’t been for porn I might have left the marriage many years ago. I think porn has kept many men from straying outside the marriage looking for sex, whether it be paid sex or an affair.
You’re robbing your wife of the opportunity to find some who wants her instead of staying with an unappreciative, disrespectful partner such as yourself.
I’m not convinced: I’m sure there are men out there who prefer sexual gratification through porn, just like many women prefer their own hand or sex toys or erotic lit (or porn). And there’s nothing wrong with any of that, but if it goes to the point where you’re denying your sexual partner sex then it’s a bit mean.
So, once again there’s really no problem for men. They can get relationships if they want. They just prefer not to. Another non-problem addressed. Nice work. Back to the people with real problems, women… Ironically their main problem is…wait for it…men.
I am the original poster (quoted at the top). What this commenter has neglected to address is a key point in the selected quote: “when there is a willing and sexual female/partner present” He states, “When your desires are strong and you have no way to fulfill them you become frustrated and this is what happens to you. I have been there before so I know exactly what they are thinking.” Which doesn’t line up with my statement about a willing and sexual partner present. Meaning a partner who has *tried everything.* who has long been the initiator. Who has… Read more »
There are men who prefer porn to a woman, and here are but a few examples. (None of these are unique to men, but in keeping with the post I will only comment on men for the moment.) 1) Many gay men will prefer porn to a woman for the simple reason that they are not attracted to women. They might not prefer porn to a man, though. 2) There are asexual men, some of whom enjoy porn. 3) Men who view themselves negatively may prefer porn to being naked in front of another person. 4) Men who have suffered… Read more »
Is this article making the argument that all men (whether in relationships or not) who use sex toys, porn etc only do so because of some dissatisfaction? I think it’s kind of hard to make those sort of generalizations and it seems a little unfair to the men. Are all women who use sex toys in the same category? Are sex toys (porn etc.) necessarily a replacement for a traditional relationship or is it something else entirely–to be appreciated on its own terms? Again, I think it is hard to make generalizations about human sexuality but–for instance–there are individuals who… Read more »
It seems to me that this shifts the blame all over to women. If only we weren’t so selective and rejecting of good men, then men wouldn’t have problems with porn. Which, quite frankly, is bullshit. I’ve met men who have problems with porn AND a girlfriend (or a ex-girlfriend who left them because of this problem). To say that porn is a problem because men can’t find a woman to date them is like saying an alcoholic has problem with alcohol because they can’t find water.
Agreed. I think there are actually a lot of men who do prefer porn to a relationship. That doesn’t mean they don’t want a relationship, in fantasy, but they have problems connecting with real women — so many problems, that porn is simpler. so in that sense they may prefer porn over the hard work of finding a relationship and making it work with a real person. The female equivalent, maybe, is a woman who sits at home reading romance novels and fantasizing about being swept off her feet by a hunky, mysterious man, and she feels bitter than men… Read more »
“so in that sense they may prefer porn over the hard work of finding a relationship and making it work with a real person” Or they work a 90 hour week and don’t have time, or they have a debilitating mental illness which means they can barely support friendships, let alone relationships, or they’re horribly disfigured and can’t get any dates, or they earn next to no money in a dead end job and can’t afford to go on a date… There’s all kinds of reasons someone would like to be in a relationship that have nothing to do with… Read more »
there are many men who want a relationship but are rejected by men. This is a fact. deal with it.
rejected by women! thought I know some gay guys rejected by men too. oy.
Hmmmm. I do agree with you that men who have been unsuccessful in getting women are more likely to prefer porn, prostitutes, etc.
I think we have to consider the facts. Nearly one-third of men are involuntarily celibate. They just can’t seem to get any. Why? Unattractive and unlikable by most women. So, there is room for improvement in this area. However, these men need to make themselves at least attractive (not just physically). Most women find only a FEW men likable and attractive.
But nothing beats the real thing!
Where does that statistic come from? 1/3 of men are involuntarily celibate? Wouldn’t that mean 1/3 of women are celibate as well?
For a large number of men women are TOTALLY out of reach. This is due to women’s absurdly high standards and overwhelming preference for Alpha males, thugs and bad boys. Despite their efforts at self improvement many millions of men cannot get a date or a girlfriend while gang members, thugs and bad boys go to the head of the line..always. I see nothing wrong with porn.
There are men who aren’t in relationships who don’t want them, but this article isn’t surprising since it’s the mindset that many people have.
There are men and woman who in fact don’t care for relationships.
Relationships aren’t the end all, be all.
It’s pretty ridiculous to believe that men who aren’t in relationship can’t get them, but it’s not surprising since it’s the mindset that many people have.
There are men and woman who in fact don’t care for relationships.
Relationships aren’t the end all, be all.