This comment from Bill was submitted in response to “If I Don’t Watch Sports, Am I Still a Man?” by Tom Ley
Two profiles of courage:
1) During World War II, Swedish businessman Raoul Wallenberg is sent by his government under diplomatic cover to conduct rescue operations in Hungary to save the lives of Jews from the Holocaust. Instead of sitting behind a desk, he repeatedly risks his life to save the lives of others, often coming into contact with Nazi SS officers and Hungarian fascist thugs. Surviving several assassination attempts, he is forced to sleep in a different location every night. He manages to save the lives of more than 10,000 people. When the Red Army drives the Germans out of Hungary, Wallenburg is abducted by agents of Stalin’s brutal secret police to Moscow, where he disappears in the notorious Lubianka prison and is never seen again as a free man. Solzhenitsyn claims he refused to bargain with his captors to secure his freedom and may have languished for years in the Soviet gulag before he eventually died. By the way, Wallenberg was a slightly built man who shunned sports.
2) At Penn State University, Coach Mike McQueary witnesses the (alleged) anal rape of a ten-year-old boy by Coach Jerry Sandusky in the athletic showers on the Penn State campus. Instead of physically intervening to stop the rape from continuing, he leaves the young boy at Sandusky’s mercy and goes home to tell his father. By the way, McQueary is a big, strapping guy who had played football at Penn State.
Which of these two individuals was a “real man”? Was McQueary a hero? Was Wallenberg a wimp?
For generations in this country with its sports-saturated culture, nonathletic boys have been negatively stereotyped in the worst way. When I was young, they were called sissies. They were forced to take “sports only” P.E. classes — which provided no exercise programs for them and usually didn’t even provide any instruction in the sports themselves, as if every boy were an aspiring athlete. Nothing has changed. Today they are called wimps and fags. As were those of previous generations, nonathletic boys are likely to be bullied for no other reason than they simply are not interested in sports, as if this were a crime against nature. Before they even reach their early teens, nonathletic boys receive messages from others (actually, from the culture itself) that they are unmanly and inferior. If such boys don’t receive strong support to provide emotional reinforcement, they are likely to internalize this stigmatization and end up with self-hatred in their lives. And what is particularly aggravating is that this denigration is based upon assumptions that are demonstrably false. That means they are easily disproven, but no one cares. No one speaks up for nonathletic boys in our society. Certainly not anyone of significant social stature that I’m aware of.
As for me, don’t even attempt to stereotype me as being sedentary. For several years I’ve been working out at a local health club on a bodybuilding program. I don’t need sports to get into shape. I have no problem with anyone having an interest in ball games either as a spectator or as an athlete, as long as they are not unreasonable and intolerant about it. I respect athletic participation; but I will never accept the denigration of nonathletic boys, which is nothing less than a fom of pointless bigotry.
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photo by achoice / flickr
The text of your latest post in this blog was e-mailed to me; so, I read it and decided to go back on my word and post again. I appreciated your message. I understand you weren’t being personal, and the tone of your posts indicate you’re a gentleman. So, I have no complaint. To the contrary, it’s refreshing to communicate a difference of opinion online without having a flame war. Sometimes I get a bit emotional about certain issues. I’m happy to learn that your nephew does not have to contend with the sort of problem I faced when I… Read more »
Eric, you have accused me of making a blanket generalization, yet that is exactly what you have done yourself. This is my last post here. I’m not conceding defeat to you; I’m simplying facing the fact that trying to have a discussion with close-minded people is pointless. You can damn me all you want when I’ve left, but I couldn’t care less. I won’t be back to read anyone’s contents. You can check out these links, if you’re intellectually curious. http://americanmentalhealthfoundation.org/entry.php?id=135 http://marshallbrain.com/geek.htm Perhaps someone, if not you, will learn something. But you’re right. Nonathletic boys who have no interest in… Read more »
Mr. Bill, I understand that the way you were treated in your childhood caused psychological trauma, and am sorry for your painful experiences/memories. What was done to you was wrong on many levels. However, you are taking my points as a personal affront. They aren’t. I am simply expressing disagreement, trying to do so respectfully. As my wife tells me all the time, “You’re not bad, you’re jus wrong. “Nonathletic boys who have no interest in sports are not called sissies. Today they’re called wimps and fags.” To your point, have you not heard of boys who are gamers (as… Read more »
Hi, Eric. Thanks for being civil in your response. Regarding my Wallenberg/McQueary comparison, I was referring to body build (physique), not bodybuilding (exercise program). Of course, I assume you’re referring to physique, just as I was. I understand you honestly believe nonathletic boys are not negatively stereotyped today, but we differ in what we believe is the current reality. I can only guess why we have different perceptions. You mentioned you’re the father of daughters. (So am I, but that fact is not germane to our discussion here.) Perhaps if you had a nonathletic son, you would learn of problems… Read more »
Your point that there is no connection between bodybuilding and courage is accurate; however, you said far more than that. Mr. Bill, you have indeed lived longer than I have, and I have respect for my elders. However, you wrote in clear language and made clear blanket statements, which I believe to be incorrect. You very clearly stated something that is simply not true as a generalization: “For generations in this country with its sports-saturated culture, nonathletic boys have been negatively stereotyped in the worst way.” I went to high school and college just as you did. I am raising… Read more »
Why not just say that some men like sports, whereas others don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with either? This is 2012. People come in all shapes, sizes, and interests. We have this new-fangled thing called diversity now. Why the demonization of sports and men who like them? “Wallenberg was a slightly built man who shunned sports.” Sure about that? He shunned bike riding? Swimming? Running? Jumping rope? Canoeing? Horse-back riding? Virtually all aerobics involve sports of some sort. Are you not aware that we have a crisis of childhood obesity in this country because of children not participating in sports… Read more »
I was not aware my post could become an OP for another blog at this website. My intention was not to call attention to myself. Aside from the possibility of receiving a comment from another poster or two, I had thought nothing else would come out of this. For your information, Eric, I’m a 61-year-old man who grew up in this country. I’ve lived most of my life in the state of Texas, where I was born. I believe I have more experience than you. The only point I was making in my comparison between Wallenberg and McQueary is that… Read more »
I abhor jocks and have low tolerance for men who a fanatics of sports. It’s one thing to play in them and another thing to be all decked out in your fan’s sports gear, paint your face in patriotic team colours and waving your number 1 fan paraphernalia. This fan obsession is similar to teenage girls who are star struck with Justin Bieiber …same feverish excitement, complete devotion and loyalty. But girls grow up and grow out of this phase – they get married and become devoted and loyal to husband and family instead.
What a darn good comment.