As a hopeless romantic, a new contestant in the dating game and a woman of few words blessed with sarcasm, I have had my fair share of online dating failures and success. Most people enter the world of online dating expecting a lot or burdened with prejudices or the plain simple thought that this won’t work at all. The truth is, online dating sites and apps are bringing in major changes to cater to all sorts of users. Meeting someone online is probably the safest method of dating.
With a variety of options, settings, preferences and much more; everyone can navigate this chaotic yet adventurous space of online dating with ease. Consumers seek companionship, relationships, friendships and casual encounters without the fear of judgment. And the cherry on top is, almost everyone finds a match. My experiences have enabled me to figure out what the h*ll I am doing, and I wish to share some of my tips and tricks with you. So while you get ready to dive into the online dating pool, here are a few tips that will help you gain success.
- Take Off the Blinders
Before you register yourself on any online dating site; remember that people with all kinds of needs and desires are trying to find their match. The world is progressing at a growing pace and acceptance is becoming cool. Respect those who seek something different from you and that will guarantee success when you set out to find your match. So, take off the blinders and open your mind to seek new adventures.
- Choose Wisely
There are hundreds of online dating sites and apps that cater to specific consumers. The key is to find the one that suits your needs and select that particular website. For instance, there are sites for hookups specifically so you need to do your homework before you register. After you find what fits your preferences perfectly, the rest is a smooth ride in the world of online dating.
- Fair & Ethical
The temptation to lie on online dating profiles can strike at any moment. But learn that false perceptions lead nowhere. Get your bestie to go through your profile and edit what might seem like an exaggeration. Also, it may help you add a few extra points that you may have missed. For example, be honest if you smoke or are allergic to pets.
- Lemme Take A Selfie
I am sure all of us have a few thousand selfies, some duckface, that look fancy to us. But the truth is, they don’t work when it comes to online dating. For guys, shirtless pictures in the gym can be used for personal fitness motivation. Upload a couple of close-ups along with a few full-length pictures and let the photos do their magic.
- Ask for Pictures
It is completely okay to ask for more pictures from someone you are interested in. Someone might have a great ‘bio’ or ‘about’ that sparks a connection, but the profile might contain only a single photo. At such times, feel free to request for extra photos. It’s better to ask than regret.
- Question & Answer
Make sure you have a few select questions to direct to your matches. I tend to urge a match to tell me about their passion or career goals or hobbies that they indulge in (even as adults). This assists in filtering out profiles and you are left with the best picks. Choose your own questions and fire away.
- Eenie Meenie Miney Moe
You do not have to talk to every single person you match with. It’s absolutely fine to be kind and considerate. But you do not owe anyone anything. A simple ‘no thank you’ with the reason why things won’t work out between you will suffice. Value your time and don’t waste it.
- Talk Before You Walk
Have a full-length verbal conversation before you set a date. Texting might provide an initial analysis but talking on the phone will aid in finding red flags if any. With a phone conversation, your intuitions are on high alert. Trust those instincts and hone your listening skills.
- Neutral Territory
After your done assessing your online dating match through verbal communication, it’s time for a date. The best and safest option is meeting in a public place. This gives you the advantage of ending the date and travel on your own if it isn’t going well. Choose a place that you know well. Be smart and safe to have fun.
- Keep It Brief
The first date should be long enough to make an impression but short enough to maintain a mystery. Do not show all your cards in the first go. The fun is when you reveal a little and then play it cool. Also, if there is zero chemistry, a brief date will be a blessing. Grab a coffee at a local coffee shop or a beer at the bar at the corner after work.
- Be Yourself
Be your own weird, sappy, funny, wonderful self because that boosts online dating success. Put your authentic self with crazy hobbies, nuanced interests and a ‘punny’ sense of humor and people will appreciate that. This ensures that you find someone who is interested in you for who you really are. The oddball things about you, are what makes you who you are. You have to be yourself and be open to what comes your way.
- Stalking Alert
Keep social media stalking to a minimum. There is a huge difference in verifying a person’s vitals on social media versus scrolling through until you hit the very first picture on Instagram. A certain mystery adds allure to the world of online dating and so keep it simple.
- Don’t Be Intimidated
There used to be a certain stigma around online dating but now the world is changing. With social media and the internet being saviors, online dating is a welcome option. Be brave and take a chance for you might meet someone utterly charming, good and a perfect match for you.
- Games Are for Kids
If you do register on an online dating site, make sure you are serious about it. Taking up internet dating just for laughs is a cruel way to go. You may not be serious but almost everyone else is there for a reason and a purpose. Let the other person know about your intentions beforehand.
- Baggage Claim
Keep it positive and light at the beginning. It is important to wait to share your dating horror stories. The point is to see if you can simply have fun together. Refrain from talking about exes, good or bad, because if you hit it off there will be plenty of time to share.
- Buffet Style
Try to go on as many first dates as possible. It is a numbers game and you can dramatically improve your odds of success by doing a little work ahead of time. Step out of your shell, experience unexplored territories and let your heart decide. You only need to meet one person who could change your life forever.
- Mysterious Is Sexy
Avoiding being completely available at all times. Being a little strategic never hurts. If there is a back and forth, wait a few hours to respond and keep the interaction fun and light. Live your life, and if it is right, it will work out. Play it casual and let your intuitions guide you.
- Opening Lines
Just like a play or tv series, the opening line is what catches attention. The key is to keep it light yet make an impression. A little humor goes a long way in creating an impression. Choose your line which you are most comfortable with and just go for it. Trust me, success in online dating is truly just a ‘hello’ away.
- Patience Is the Key
If you jump into online dating with sky-high expectations, you may emerge disappointed. It is important to keep minimal expectations and not give up. Not everyone finds their soulmate at 18. It’s okay to take a pause and come back. Be patient and what you desire will surely come your way.
- Deal Breakers
Once you are aware of what you want and need, it will be easy to figure out the deal breakers. Make a list and stay true to it. Find out what works for you, sparks interest and creates a connection. And then jot down things or qualities that do not make you happy and are no good for you.
- Make A Move
It is absolutely okay to initiate the conversation or ask someone out for a date through online dating. A bold choice may prove to be the perfect catalyst in finding what you are seeking. Ask questions, dish out some humor and let the conversation flow. Making the first move can be a game changer for sure.
- Adventurous Photographs
Let pictures depict your interests and hobbies. A photo that’s taken while scuba-diving, a rock-climbing one or one from a dance recital can leave a long lasting impression. Also, it makes your profile stand out amongst the millions of generic ones. So upload interesting pictures and get swiping.
- First Responder
The very first response to a message on online dating should be quick and brief. It showcases that you are interested in taking the conversation forward and a prompt reply cuts through the crowd. if you wait more than a day to respond, then the person will probably think that you’re not interested in them.
- Daily Activity
Keep a stipulated time for online dating activities. This will ensure that you do log in and continue your search. Also, profiles that have a higher activity rate make it to the top of the list and get more exposure. It will make sure that your profile does not get deactivated. So browse through at least once a day.
- Night Chat
With the majority of online dating users being working men and women, it is best to reserve the chatting post work. That way, you two have more time to actually have a live chat conversation rather than back and forth emails or chats. Hence nighttime is the best time for conversations.
- Latest Photos, Please
Remember that pictures 2-3 years old will create no impression. Your match might think you are a catfish if you decide to meet. Looks change with time and so does your style and appearance. So, make sure you upload recent photos that will increase your chances of getting success through online dating.
- Keep It PG
It is vital that you keep the initial conversations as clean and respectful as possible. Until you are explicitly looking for a mutual hookup, keep it PG. There is a time and place for everything and sexual chats can be reserved for later. Make sure you do not embarrass anyone or make them uncomfortable.
- Keep the Momentum
Share your schedule in brief so that your match knows that will be busy and would not be able to connect with them. This helps in keeping the momentum which vital in this day and age of social media. Communicate, converse, be honest and avoid a potential relationship from fizzling out.
- Cool & Casual
Try not to get disheartened if things do not go our way for a while. It takes a little time, effort and luck to match and connect with someone who fits the bill. Rejection is inevitable unless you are Brad Pitt. So, try to keep that in perspective, keep it cool and casual and just enjoy the process.
Offer to pay your share, flirt a little and get some unique experiences you can laugh about in the future. The whole point of online dating is to meet new people, forge connections and be successful in finding someone who tickles your fancy. Quality and comfort aids in forming kinships, while listening skills and common sense pave the path to online dating success. Online dating can be a bit scary if you have never done it before, but hopefully, this guide is more than enough to get you started.
This content is sponsored by Mary Gibson.