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No one tells how or who you’re going to fall in love with. When I was growing up, I had an image in my head of my dream girl. As a teenager, I was in love with Jennifer Lopez. So, I spent most of my time trying to get with women who resembled my teenage fantasy. You can’t blame me for trying. But things didn’t end up how I had planned. If you said to me, “you’re going to meet cougars and fall head over heels for one,” I would have laughed in your face, patted you on the back, and bought you a drink.
Meeting Sarah wasn’t like The Graduate. There wasn’t an older woman prowling around, hunting me down like prey, lifting her dress to expose her thigh. It happened how I met almost all the other women I dated: at a bar. I didn’t say I was different from other guys.
My friends and I like to hit up our usual places on the weekend, catch up, and if we’re lucky, flirt with a woman and see where it goes. I went to the bar to grab a beer, and there she was, standing right beside me trying to get the bartender’s attention. She wasn’t yelling at him, snapping her fingers or giving him the eye; she was standing there, waiting patiently. There was a calming aura around her, and I was automatically pulled into it.
I debated whether or not I should make a move, and in mid-thought, her eyes locked with mine. Her blue eyes washed over me like a wave. They were sensual, playful, even a little naughty. Terrified, I looked away, anxiously searching for the bartender. I yelled at him for a beer and pointed to the table where my friends were while speed walking back to safety. In other words, I chickened out.
I could see she was older than me; the look she gave me wasn’t from a naive and inexperienced woman. My friends teased me, asking what the problem was. I caved. “Guys, she’s an older woman… like old.” They all tilted their heads back to catch a glimpse of her. But none of them seem phased by her age. “So?” my one friend said. “What’s the big deal? She’s hot!”
“You’ve never been with an older woman?” my other friend asked.
I nodded slightly embarrassed by my answer.
“Listen, man, being with an older woman is amazing. I remember when I slept my brother’s preschool teacher, it blew my mind. You could talk to her about anything; she was so chill. And the sex,” he shook his head, “the sex was the best I ever had.”
My friends stared at me in silence, waiting for my response. Should I go back to the bar and talk to her? I hesitated, but I knew what I had to do. It was time to redeem myself. I got up and walked by to the bar where she was sitting, enjoying her drink.
“Hi,” I said as I tried to cover my nerves.
“Hi there,” she smiled.
That’s all it took. One simple “hi” and my life was changed. From that moment on, we didn’t go a night without talking. And sure, we eventually had sex, and my friend was right, it was amazing, but what really made me fall was her honesty and open-mindedness. She passed the phases of insecurity and self-doubt. She knew who she was, and she accepted herself. And that’s what turned me on. Because when she’s free, I’m free. When she’s open and honest, I can be who I really am.
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This content is sponsored by Stefan Simonovic.
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