Some of us just throw ourselves into them without ever asking ourselves, are we ready for this? Without asking yourself this question you run the risk of hurting someone, as well as confusing yourself because you prematurely engaged in something that you weren’t ready for. So it’s important that you ask yourself the question before you start to go down the relationship path because the happiness and success of your relationships is held in the balance of how satisfied you are with yourself.
So here are 10 ways to know that you’re a person who is ready for a relationship:
You are ready to put someone else’s interests ahead of your own: If you’re an entrepreneur who is virtually working all the time to create your business, you probably aren’t willing to sacrifice your business for a romantic partner. But if you are at a place in your career where you can take your foot off the gas, slightly, so you can build a relationship with someone and put their feelings ahead of your own, then you’re ready for a relationship. Relationships are about being selfless and compromising your time to ensure your partner is happy. So if you aren’t at a place in your life where you’re willing to make sacrifices to how you want to live and what you want to do some of the time, then you probably should not get into a relationship. Often the success of a relationship is just your willingness to compromise and do your second favourite thing, instead of your favourite thing some of the time.
You no longer expect people to be perfect: A huge part of relationships is acceptance — being able to accept someone for who they are, flaws and all. When we’re younger we hold onto idealistic views, or lists, of what the ideal partner will have, but as we get older we understand that lists don’t lead to happiness. If you have the mentality where you pinpoint every little quirk that bugs you about someone, you will not be successful in relationships. You’re ready for a relationship if you want to find a partner to support you — someone who you can have open communication with and work through the bumps because you love them and are dedicated to the relationship.
You are happy being single and alone: Usually, right when you’re enjoying your freedom is when you’re going to meet that important person. That’s because you are at a place in your life when have a lot to give to someone else because your relationship with yourself is so strong. Engaging in a relationship because you don’t want to be alone, or don’t like being single, is going to lead you into a lot of the wrong relationships, as well as potentially bring your partner down with you because you aren’t happy or satisfied with yourself. Always make sure that your feelings for the person you are with are greater than your fear of being alone.
You have direction in your life: If you’re still trying to figure out what you want to do with your life and your biggest hobby is getting drunk on the weekend, then you probably aren’t ready to get into a serious relationship. That’s because you have a lot to figure out and learn about yourself until you even know what you want in a relationship. You also won’t know what you’re looking for in a partner because you have no clue where you are headed. It always helps to have some semblance of a path you’re walking, or direction you’re headed, if you want to find a compatible partner.
Your priorities have changed: When we’re younger our priorities are very simple: we want to have fun, party, and hook up with women. But as we get older, our lives begin to get more serious and more complicated. Friends’ jobs take up the majority of their time, or others start their own business and don’t have time to go to the bar every weekend. If you notice this shift in your own life where you want to begin to crave value in your life, instead of just “having fun” that’s a strong sign that you’re ready for a relationship.
You don’t have any baggage: After one relationship ends, it’s important that you have your “me” time to digest and absorb what you learnt so you better understand what you want for the next relationship. Those who just jump from one relationship to the next never actually learn anything, but instead just suffice the emotional loss with someone new. Before you even think about getting into another relationship, make sure you have a clean slate and are free of any emotional baggage.
You don’t depend on others: You will always be at your strongest in a relationship when you feel whole on your own. How can you possibly think you can contribute to someone else’s life when you still depend on other people? Your partner is going to need you for support at times, so there is no way you can give them what they need in those times of crisis if you still need someone to lift you up.
You want to share your life with someone: At some point we are all going to crave companionship and the desire to share our life with someone will become increasingly important. While this need will be stronger in some people than others, the reality is that as we age, we want to build a life, and we want to do it with another person. You know that you’re really ready for a serious relationship when your yearning for a partner, somebody to celebrate your successes with and someone to support you when you fail, becomes a major priority.
What you look for in a woman has changed:When we’re younger, we’re more often drawn to women that are stereotypically “hot”. As a guy gets older, he becomes wise to the fact that the most attractive girl in the room often doesn’t often equate to the best person in the room. You learn enough times that there are so many more components to having a successful relationship than those early feelings of lust and sexual attraction. You know you’re looking for a committed relationship and are ready for one if you begin looking for qualities in women, like;does she have goals and aspirations of her own? Does she come from a good family? Would she make a good mother? Is she nurturing and kind? Does she support the vision I have for my future? You know you’re a grown-ass man who wants something more than just another hookup when these bigger questions come to the forefront of your mind.
You crave a balanced life: All of us go through periods in our life that are filled with excess in some regard: whether it be binge partying, becoming obsessively career-focused, intensely adamant about travelling and crossing as many countries off our bucket lists as possible, or just periods where we really are putting our grandiose life goals before everything else. You know you’re in a place in your life when you are ready for a relationship when you crave balance and understand that the way to live a successful life is to live a well-rounded life: have a career, have friends, make time for your family, have a romantic relationship with a partner, have fun, travel, and just get the most of your life. If you’re at the stage where you value this type of balance and really understand the connection between happiness and the health of your personal relationships, then you are ready for a relationship. A healthy relationship has a way of putting our hearts and minds at ease, as well as restoring balance in our lives.
Before you engage in any sort of committed relationship, it’s important to really ask yourself the question, “Am I ready for this?” If you still hold a flame for your ex, you’re in a selfish faze and completely devoted to your career, or you just don’t have any clue where your life is headed and what you want to do, then you probably should not put yourself in a position to hurt someone who is ready for that commitment. Relationships are important and successful romantic relationships will be big factors contributing to your happiness, but the most important relationship is always the one with yourself, and if you aren’t good there, then there’s no point in getting anybody else involved.
Previously published on jamienrea.com
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