For Diane Holtkiss, Biology Teacher, there are plenty of things that make her scratch her head in wonderment.
8. During our third week of school, one of my students stopped what she was doing in the middle of class, looked around my science lab, and asked me, “Biology…this is a science class right?
7. While I was talking to the class one day, a nice quiet child who was especially fed up with kids being loud and not paying attention in class burst out with, “What’s the school-appropriate word for asshole?” She was horrified at what she said; it was all I could do not to burst out laughing.
6. I have the biggest crush on Johnny Depp. When the girls talk about him, they always want to tell me how hot he is. I tell them he is Mr. Holkiss’ age, nearly 50, and they about faint. They just cannot believe that.
5. There was one student who asked me every day whether or not I had a pencil sharpener. During the fifth week of school, the other students forbid him to ask me that question anymore. He is having no trouble finding it now.
4. My Environmental Systems class is made up of seniors. We made posters to hang in the halls about conservation of resources. One kid made a poster that said, “Save water, shower with me.” I found it taken off the wall, folded up, and stuck in my mailbox–by whom, I may never know.
3. One really ornery freshman boy took a great interest in my guppy tank. There are tons of little fish in there. I had no idea he was stealing one fish a day and doing gross stuff with them in the lunchroom until a little girl told me. After that I did not allow him to play with the fish anymore. A few days later, the student who sits in his chair the class after his opened their shared textbook to find a dead fish waiting there for him. I wrote him up for animal cruelty and property destruction and he requested a schedule change.
1. We had just finished learning about the different types of sexual reproduction that take place in the animal kingdom, including my favorite, the slugs, that both have penises and sperm receiving tissue. When the union is successful, the product glows in the dark. I had a boy freshman ask me how can you tell when a human female has an orgasm. I told him to ask his mother, but wanted to tell him that he might never REALLY know for sure. Ha!