Having kids means watching their interests rapidly change and swing from one extreme to another. First, they want a drum kit. Six months later, they want to play soccer. After one season on the team, they might decide they like baseball better. A few years later they want to play the tuba, and by the time they reach high school, you’ve spent thousands of dollars to support them in pursuing hobbies they’ve dropped.
Knowing the fickle nature of a child’s interests, many parents don’t allow their kids to pursue multiple hobbies or sports. Instead, they pressure their children into sticking with one activity they’ve chosen. If the kid is miserable, that’s too bad. They have to live with their choice.
The intention is to convey a lesson in commitment, but that’s not an appropriate time for that lesson. Younger kids need to explore every possibility they can get their hands on. It’s part of how they learn who they are and what they’re interested in. At a young age, the value is in the exploration, not in sticking to their commitment.
Competition is healthy, even when kids lose
Some parents don’t want their children to explore competitive activities like team sports or even spelling bees. It’s a growing trend for all kids on a sports team to get a trophy for participating. That way, there are no winners or losers.
Many parents dislike competition because they don’t think their child is good enough to compete and want to spare them the disappointment. What if disappointment isn’t bad?
What if disappointment teaches kids not to take losing personally, and shows them how to maintain self-respect? As Rockin’ Jump points out, “learning how to win with grace and lose with respect and dignity are not natural reactions for children, and they can be rare qualities in the role models around them.”
Experience is the only true teacher in this world and not all adults model that level of self-respect. If kids don’t learn self-respect by observing the adults in their lives, they can only learn it through personal experience.
Life is full of disappointment, and no matter how many Law of Attraction books say otherwise, you can’t force life to go your way all the time. Part of being human is accepting the ups and downs of life.
The key is teaching your kids that they’re not going to win all the time. Encourage them to do their best and celebrate every win, but make sure they understand at some point, other people will win, too.
Competition encourages cooperation
If competition produces heartless people, London Marathon runner Matthew Rees wouldn’t have stopped to help David Wyeth across the finish line, increasing his time in the process. The fact that Rees willingly gave up his position to help someone else shows that winning isn’t the only thing that matters. If people were running without competing for time, his helpful actions wouldn’t have made headlines.
The truth is, competition encourages cooperation because it gives people the opportunity to choose between winning and helping someone else. Most people want to do what’s right and help others in need, and it’s refreshing to see people sacrifice a personal achievement within a competitive framework.
Some people believe you can engage in a sport without competition, but in that case, there’s no impetus to do your absolute best. In theory, an athlete could give their sport every ounce of effort with or without competition, but the thrill of competition drives the adrenaline that pushes people beyond their believable limits.
It’s the same phenomenon that happens when a weightlifter is able to squeeze in one more rep after they thought they were done.
Exploration helps kids discover their passion
Kids should be encouraged to explore and compete in a variety of activities. Through their exploration, they may discover new hobbies and genuine interests, even ones they’re not good at.
Children don’t need to develop mastership over everything they take an interest in, but the more activities they’re allowed to pursue, the more likely they’ll be to find their true passion in life.
This content made possible by site supporter Larry Alton.
Photo credit: Andhika Soreng/Unsplash