10. Be interesting.
Women are people (shocking). And people gravitate toward interesting people. Make some music, make a movie, become an expert at something, write a book. Once you’ve written a book that someone loves you have an easy in to talk to them and that can lead somewhere.
9. Be likable.
Lots of things are important in relationships. We think that it’s important to be lovable, to be sexy, but being likable is a deeply powerful dynamic. In fact, if you are looking for casual sexual relationships—friends with benefits—you may find that being a truly likable person makes you someone that someone wants to come over and visit at midnight after a hard day.
8. Learn a lot about sex.
Learning how women’s bodies work may help you develop skills that may make you desirable in the kink community, for example.
7. Generate a real respect for women.
Again, women are people and can see when they are honestly respected. You may find that your lack of respect for the autonomy of a person’s own body is the ONLY thing pushing women away from you.
6. Focus on the things you love, not the things you hate.
People tend to be drawn to people through their passions. If you love to cook, take a cooking class and do what you love. If you love building, join habitat for humanity and build houses. People will be attracted to your passion and you will be astonished at what happens.
5. Stop telling people you are desperate.
Deep down, women have some interesting innate trusts. For example, if they see a perfectly attractive person and NO OTHER WOMEN have been interested in being with that person, they tend to trust the insights of those other women and assume there is a reason. When you tell people you are celibate because no one wants you, you are doing yourself no favors.
4. Go out and dance.
Some of the same sexual energies that are backing up and making you feel terrible are released when you dance. Many people just go dance it off. Who knows, at some point—if you are good enough—you might have a woman come up to YOU.
3. Cultivate your female friends.
Be kind and supportive and listen to your female friends. They are the ones who are going to meet a great girl and tell that person how great YOU are. Don’t hang out on the internet with a bunch of guys who ALSO don’t know any women. If anything, take every chance you can to meet women as friends. Every woman who is your friend who thinks you are great is a gateway to someone who may want to date you.
2. Come up with some great date ideas.
If you do the steps above, you will need them. But people sometimes like to have stories to tell their friends. If that first date is a lot of fun, they could have a great story.
1. Stop thinking you have a right to someone else’s body.
You don’t. And that sense of entitlement is deeply unattractive.
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