David Pisarra wants NFL linebacker and domestic violence survivor Erik Walden to know he’s not alone.
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I want to go on the record as supporting Erik Walden who is a professional football player for the Indianapolis Colts. As a linebacker who stands 6’2 and weighs in at 250 pounds he’s an impressive man. But all that size, strength, and his professional level skills weren’t enough to prevent him from being attacked by his ex-girlfriend, who allegedly cut his arm with a knife. It is reported that his current girlfriend had her arm broken with a baseball bat by the ex-girlfriend. This is the second time that there has been a domestic incident between Walden and the mother of his children.
As a domestic violence survivor, Walden is likely going through a number of emotions, but hopefully he’s not feeling shame or guilt. I know it’s easy to look at this large man and say he should have protected himself and his girlfriend, and likely he tried to do something, but just imagine if you will that instead of him being the victim, he had knocked out his attacking ex-girlfriend. Just what would the media have said?
You know it, “here we go again,” “another violent footballer who can’t control his emotions.” I’m not trying to be an apologist for anyone who is abusive. I am looking to shed some light on another side of a bilateral equation. In this case, there is a woman who has a history of being violent, who snuck into Walden’s home and waited for him. But would that have been enough to make his defense seem okay? Likely not.
In my experience as a family law attorney who specializes in representing men in domestic violence cases, unless the case is as clear as this one, the man is at a severe disadvantage of biased assumptions. I’ve had a case where the 260 pound man was being beaten and abused by his 130 pound wife, and if she hadn’t drawn blood, and if we didn’t have the photos to prove it, I doubt the court would have issued the restraining order.
Mr. Walden now joins a select group of men, those who are publicly known as domestic violence survivors, and like all survivors, he deserves our support at this difficult time in his life for him and his family. We should encourage him to stand tall and speak out against all abuse, for it is only when men like this speak out that others in the shadows will raise their voices, and the silent epidemic of domestic abuse will be recognized and stopped.
Photo—Tom Woodward/Flickr
This is a very serious issue. I just wrote an article on abuse toward men… hope it brings more light to what Erik, myself, and so many men have gone through silently:
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/men-are-victims-too-recognizing-and-dealing-with-abuse-wcz/
Amy and Alicia, you are both spot on… thank you for your voice.
No sure what I said would warrant the m o d squat.
I agree Amy. You bring up a good point, what if he’d physically responded? This story would have been a lot different.
It’s devastating that Erik Walden had to go through this. One day he & his children will be able to move forward with their lives, it’s going to take time. But they will eventually heal from this terrible pain. The comment of Amy Glass is spot on, due to our society’s perception Men are always viewed as most likely to be the main instigator of domestic violence because physically they are a lot stronger than women. For a long time I’ve always felt that domestic violence campaigns should be more gender neutral and inclusive. Even though women and children are… Read more »
Yep, you know it! The same people who are claiming that he should’ve been able to protect himself and stand up to her are the very same ones who would’ve been getting their panties in a bunch if he had done exactly that. Men are damned if they do, damned if they don’t in these situations with abusive women. After all, it doesn’t matter that a woman might have been the first one to be violent towards a man who then retaliated, the outrage is always “how dare he hit a woman.” It would be interesting to see the reaction… Read more »