You are as unlikely to see this as you are to willingly concede your role as the 45th President of the United States. Having read your niece Mary’s book, Too Much and Never Enough, it reinforced what I already suspected. As a career therapist (40 years and counting) I see through the facade of the tough-guy who needs to win at all costs no matter who it harms, to that lonely little boy who didn’t receive the nurturing love that every child deserves. Accumulating wealth rather than genuine affection. Rescuing rather than teaching responsibility. Sourcing your self worth from external validation. Competition rather than cooperation. No positive role models for healthy expression of emotions. You were only as valued as your latest conquest. Seeing people as utilitarian and expendable. Objectifying women who were there for your pleasure, rather than strong individuals with minds of their own. Your arm candy wives were likely not free to express themselves and their full potential. Your children as prizes and pseudo proof of your power. They too, live to win your approval as you did with your father. Nothing I am saying is new.
You have been diagnosed by Dr. Bandy X. Lee and countless other psychiatrists as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Not an easy pill to swallow for anyone. You can go down the checklist and see if any of this rings true for you, although paradoxically, someone who fits this diagnosis would not recognize it in themselves, thinking, if only other people saw things the way I do (the correct view, of course), they would be in alignment with me.
- An exaggerated sense of power while harboring unexpressed feelings of insecurity
- Feeling entitled to have whatever they want
- Lying about achievements
- Intimidation and bullying
- Arrogance and superiority
- Inability to adapt to change
- Refusal to admit loss
- Objectifying others
- Little or no empathy for the feelings or needs of others
- Acquisitiveness to replace genuine human connection
- An insatiability to have their needs met
- Emotional dysregulation
- An underlying fear of being found out
- Does any of this sound familiar?
In the wake of the election of 2020, the Electoral College vote-spread between you and President-Elect Joe Biden stands at 306-232, the same figures that your 2016 election afforded you. Four years ago, despite not winning the popular vote, you called it a landslide. This time, he did win the popular vote as well. But then, you already know this.
I am curious to know what roiling thoughts are crashing through your cranium. Is there panic? Is there terror? Rage? A desire for retaliation? If someone’s sense of psychological survival is at risk, they are inclined to do whatever it takes to regain status, if not, equilibrium. A watching world sees all of that playing out right before them. Denial, not only on your part but from your enablers. They broadcast a cascade of lies that you have actually been re-elected and those who didn’t vote for you had better get used to that alternate reality. According to the New York Times, there is no evidence of voter fraud as you continue to insist is the case. You had already decided that if you lost, that there was a disruption in the Universe and that your desires were being thwarted and thus an injustice had occurred. Accusing others of doing what you have done countless times. Skirting the rules, playing the system, lying for your own sake.
In the meantime, your denial of the facts (nothing new here either) puts the country in dire danger, not only from the pandemic which you have chosen to ignore or deny, but at risk from those who might seek to do harm to the country. You, who call yourself the law and order President, are breaking the laws to save your own skin. The country and Constitution you pledged to defend and protect is indeed under attack…from you. Here’s the deal…any crisis that occurs in this country will eventually affect you and your family.
I know that your father shaped much of his world view through the lens of The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. My take on the book which I read in my 20s encouraged that changes large and small occur through the positive mindset we carry and how we use it to benefit others. Contrary to that, what I see is a man who has twisted and distorted the messages. The virus won’t go away just because you utter the words. You did not win the election just because you claimed to. Other people are not supposed to bow to your will or adhere to your whims merely because you want them to. Clearly, you hold power over some who fear what will happen if they don’t.
Sadly, there are over 70 million people in this country who align with your messages of bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, superiority, racism, anti-Semitism, and nationalism. Hard for me to grasp, since likely, many of them are in marginalized groups who your policies target. Hard for me to comprehend that they would identify with the oppressor. Hard for me to witness that you have shown a callous disregard for your ‘followers,’ and still they are willing to stand by you. Never in all my years on the planet, have I thought of supporters of a politician as followers who are willing to do whatever their leader tells them to do at their personal peril. Since you have that kind of power, how about, in the next few months of your presidency, you use it for the benefit of all life on the planet, rather than withholding access to essential information to your successor, who has already begun to take on the necessary work to serve the country. He has vowed to be a President for all Americans. We most certainly need that here. Have the kind of graciousness that President Obama and his family offered you at the time of handing over the keys.
No other President has had the reaction that you exhibit. Each of them professionally walked through a peaceful transition of power. Your legacy is at stake.
I ask that you search for whatever scintilla of conscience you possess and do the right thing for the country you committed to serve. Let that overwhelmed child within you who feels trapped, let go. I know it feels like obliteration to admit that there is no one to rescue you from reality. You have no right to continue to hold the country hostage because you refuse to surrender. How do you want to be remembered?
Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW
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