Spoiler alert! Fred Rogers was not a Navy Seal or a sharpshooter as rumors have run rampant about the too- good- to -be- real man. Neither was he, according to his wife Joanne, a saint. He was a complete and complicated human being with a full range of emotions, all of which he needed to master like any of us on the planet. His songs and skits emerged from his own lived experiences.
All of these concepts were in evidence in the new biopic created by Marielle Heller called A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. starring Tom Hanks as the indisputable king of kindness playing the indisputable king of kindness. In all my years as a television and movie viewer and avid reader, I have never heard a disillusioning thing about either of these two cultural icons.
The film was based on a true story encounter and subsequent friendship with journalist Tom Junod who was assigned what he thought would be a puff piece about Fred whose show Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was a staple in the lives of children, mine included. An earlier documentary called Won’t You Be My Neighbor? provided the facts about him punctuated by interviews with those who knew him well. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood offered the heart behind his story as the friendship between the two men deepened and the impact it had on both their lives was longlasting.
The article that inspired the movie appeared in Esquire Magazine in 1988 was called “Can You Say…Hero?”
Junod’s fictional counterpart is Lloyd Vogel (Matthew Rhys), a hard-boiled, no-nonsense journalist who eviscerates other interview subjects, whose editor assigns him the story that was originally meant to be 800 words and blossomed to 10,000 and became the cover feature. Behind Lloyd’s morose facade, despite being married to a wonderfully supportive woman and having a new born son is a heap of hurt from the loss of his mother in childhood and abandonment by his alcoholic father. (Chris Cooper) Throughout the movie, he is encouraged by Fred to heal the pain. A side note observation is that Susan Kelechi Watson who plays the role of Lloyd’s wife Andrea also stars as Beth in my favorite show This Is Us. As I was watching the movie, I kept thinking, “She’s so Beth,” each time she interacted with her husband.
The movie follows the two men over a period of months and as Lloyd believes that he is only doing his job as an interviewer, he comes to discover that Fred is working his magic by asking him profound questions and gently doing emotional surgery with a deftness and skill that came from either natural or cultivated empathy. Compassion overcomes cynicism as Mr. Rogers works his talent naturally. Throughout the film, he is observed charming anyone with whom he comes in contact, including kids on the train who serenade him with his theme song, and families who gather around for his autograph and hugs. I was amused by his penchant for taking photos of his guests and friends so that his wife could see who he met that day. He was not in them himself.
A particularly poignant scene occurs in a Chinese restaurant as the two are sitting in a booth enjoying a vegetarian repaste (Fred was a longtime vegetarian who didn’t believe in eating anything that had a mother). Lloyd was once again tapdancing around his pain regarding his relationship with his father who had attempted, albeit, not gracefully, to heal the rift between them. Fred asked Lloyd to engage in activity with him. For one minute, he was to imagine “all the people who loved us into being.” Even though he made that request quietly, everyone in the restaurant turned in their direction, joining them in the exercise. If you look closely, you will see Joanne Rogers in the scene.
Another memorable quote was “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”
“We are trying to give the world positive ways of dealing with their feelings,” serves as a reminder that by doing so, we could avoid the plagues of aggression and depression.
Two of my favorite songs were featured in the film as well. Nick Drake’s Northern Sky and Tracy Chapman’s The Promise added the goosebump and tear factor.
What made Fred real was that he had a series of rituals that he did regularly, methodically as he exhibited at the beginning of each episode- jacket off, sweater on, shoes off, sneakers on. Praying by name for those he met, swimming laps, playing the piano and setting an intention for his day kept him genuine in the face of demands and expectations. He took his time with the people he encountered, often running behind schedule to the exasperation of his staff. The slow cadence of his speech and steady eye contact (all mastered by Tom Hanks) underscored the full presence he offered everyone.
In the gospel according to Fred, “I think the best thing we can do is to let people know that each one of them is precious.”
Fred, you were indeed precious and your legacy is particularly powerful in this time when kindness is seen by some as weakness, when it may very well be the greatest strength we have.
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Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
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Talk to you soon.
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