How our failure to achieve gender equality affects both men and women. And what we can do about it.
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“Men – I would like to take this opportunity to extend your formal invitation. Gender equality is your issue, too.” ~Emma Watson
I firmly believe in the equality of the sexes, where we work past the stereotypes and paradigms of gender, for both men and women, as full partners.
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Let me start with the obvious, I am a man. I consider myself an advocate of feminism, something I am rather vocal about in a lot of my posts. I firmly believe in the equality of the sexes, where we work past the stereotypes and paradigms of gender, for both men and women, as full partners.
I have always been surrounded by strong female role models, from my grandmothers, to my mother, to my sister, to even my wife. For me, the idea of men and women being equal is perfectly normal. Yet, this attitude doesn’t sit well with some men out there. But that is most surprising is how it doesn’t sit well with some women either.
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You see, in many cases, men within the feminist movement are told too often that they are allies to women, and not equal partners. For all the discussion about gender equality, the burden of change is placed on changing men’s mentality and blaming the current status on the patriarchy.
And I agree that men do need to change, and the current system needs to be challenged. But I don’t think that shaming men into action, expecting them to carry a sense of guilt for what women have to endure from other men, is a form of equality. This is a paradigm promoted and enforced by some of the more extreme, yet very vocal, women feminists. We, as men, are told that the only way we can challenge the ‘patriarchy’ is by feel ashamed of our masculinity, as if our gender is something that hinders us from wanting equality, as if being a man would limit our capability to better ourselves.
Our role, as men within the feminist movement, is too often reduced to helping women in their fight for equality, as if sexism doesn’t affect men.
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When people say that, in a way, the feminist movement involves an undertone of “Man-Hating” it’s truer than what most people within the movement are willing to admit. In an initiative based on equality, calling men “allies” openly implies that men are not affected by gender inequality. Our role, as men within the feminist movement, is too often reduced to helping women in their fight for equality, as if sexism doesn’t affect men.
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Gender inequality and its subtle effects impact both women and men. Yes, feminism started as a woman’s movement (hence “Femin”ism and not “Gender”ism or “Equal”ism) but in its current manifestation, it’s about equality for BOTH genders, in rights and opportunities. Feminism should never be about putting men down, or hating men, or shaming them into submission. Feminism isn’t about women hating femininity or men hating masculinity. Feminism isn’t about demeaning our gender, but about understanding how, even with our differences, we are equally capable and deserve equal respect.
Feminism isn’t about women hating femininity or men hating masculinity.
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The problem is that you will find wave after wave of men complaining about how women use feminism at their convenience, as well as wave after wave of extremist feminist women trying to shame men into submission. We are constantly presented with the not so subtle double standards within society.
Feminist groups are more than willing to condemn the objectification of women and the industry of female body imaging, yet the voices against male objectification from those same groups are almost silent. Feminist Groups fight for equal rights in the work place yet the rights of men who want to be more involved in the paternal roles are rarely taken into account.
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So when Emma Watson’s speech on Gender Equality for the UN’s HeForShe movement opened up with the fact feminism should move past the “Man-Hating” label and make an open invitation for men to be Advocates, the foundation was laid for a new ideal of Feminism, one where men and women are partners and equally responsible. Her speech was one of inclusion by the simple act of recognizing how men are also affected by the current state of affairs.
You can’t condemn men based on the actions of some men; neither can you condemn feminism based on the actions of some women.
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And inclusion is what men who oppose feminism and women who want to keep feminism exclusively a woman’s issue wanted to avoid. We mustn’t allow those who give each gender a bad name the opportunity to create the wedge between the men and women who fight for equality. We must not allow them to make “the perfect the enemy of the good.” You can’t condemn men based on the actions of some men; neither can you condemn feminism based on the actions of some women.
So what do you do? Read about the issues, educate yourself, be critical of your own beliefs, and speak up against what is wrong irrelevant of gender. Understand that what you have been taught before might be wrong. Understand that what you are told now might also be wrong. Create your own opinion and avoid being a sheep to either side of the debate. The one thing that you must do is understand that everyone should be treated equally without removing what makes them different.
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Photo: Flickr/Garry Knight
Thanks for deleting my last post. Nice to know that censorship is alive and well at GMP.
At http://www.mgtow.com/poster/empowerment is a photo of a woman sitting alone in a dark office and the caption says, ” 40 years of Feminism so you can sit in a cubicle.” Feminists just bought into the same bogus system men have been following for years. They won the right to be a small cog in a big machine, or cannon fodder for the next war. Men need to walk away from it for their own survival.
I wish to thank everyone for reading and their comments. Do keep in mind that the article focuses on Ms. Watson’s speech and not on the HeForShe campaign itself. It’s the speech what has been shared in many sites, and what is promoting a lot of the current conversation.
So when Emma Watson’s speech on Gender Equality for the UN’s HeForShe movement opened up with the fact feminism should move past the “Man-Hating” label and make an open invitation for men to be Advocates, the foundation was laid for a new ideal of Feminism, one where men and women are partners and equally responsible. Her speech was one of inclusion by the simple act of recognizing how men are also affected by the current state of affairs. Honestly I don’t think Watson’s speech was a good fit for launching HeForShe. If you go to HeForShe there is almost no… Read more »
So Caballero, where do you see men are struggling with their lack of equality to women in our society? As a feminist, what are you doing to level the playing field for men? Give me 5 issues of concern and accompany those issues with clear feminist movement efforts to address them.
Thanks
Watson’s speech was egalitarian – the actual pledge was not.
Why I did not sign:
http://oirishm.wordpress.com/2014/09/22/he-for-she-and-she-for-he/
OirishM, you summed it up perfectly