“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” —Steve Jobs
Our primary mission on planet earth is to care of our own soul. This will look different for each of us, of course. And people will have their opinions about how we choose to do it.
I am not living the life I was brought up to live. This is fortunate as that life would not suit my emotional and spiritual well-being. This is not a judgment on other lifestyles—the life we were brought up to live does suit my oldest brother perfectly, for example.
I have lived my life, feeling like an “outsider.” It took me a while to realize that I am gay, but that is not the sum total of my identity. I came of age in the Sixties, and I embraced the revolutionary spirit of the times: Question everything!
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Apple’s motto, “THINK DIFFERENT,” (even if it is grammatically incorrect) speaks to the ongoing challenge to not blindly accept the values of family, community, or society. Each of us will be tested—perhaps often.
It is simper to accept dogma, party beliefs and social norms. Simple but uninteresting. And, what I set out to do when I was younger, was to live an interesting life.
Recently, my voice as a writer and columnist has been questioned. I’ve been told I could be more discrete in content and in tone. Those making the suggestion love me. Like good parents, they want what is best for me, and they fear that I am off key.
My parents discouraged me from being an artist. They discouraged me from living abroad. And, when I became an artist and traveled the world and created a life that was meaningful to me (which, by the way, includes it being hopefully of service to others as well), they embraced it and me. They truly wanted what was best for me, they just couldn’t see beyond their own limits.
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I believe my friends and colleagues who are worried about me now are coming from a similar place.
I have been accused of bragging, of flaunting my sexuality and physical attributes—my privileges. I have made a choice—knowing that many would see me as a braggart—to neither inflate nor deflate my experience to match the comfort levels of others. Oddly, this is considered edgy.
Humility is a virtue. It is damaging to pretend to be more than we are. However, it is also damaging to pretend to be less than we are. To not share one’s successes and triumphs is as inaccurate as hiding one’s struggles and disappointments. I don’t believe in failure—every situation and experience is another opportunity for growth.
I began to write THE NEW 60 to counteract the internalized ageism that causes many young people to fear getting older and many older adults to see themselves as less than vital and powerful. I feel complete with that part of my mission. Now I will continue to write about the even more subtle challenges that I see facing us as we each strive to realize our personal best—regardless of the opinions of others—well-intentioned though they might be.
—Photo segaman/Flickr