TRIGGER WARNING: The following includes descriptions, photos, and video that may serve as a trigger for victims of sexual violence. Please advise when sharing.
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Publisher’s Note: Comments on this post will be heavily moderated.
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Someone asked me today, “What is ‘rape culture’ anyway? I’m tired of hearing about it.”
Yeah, I hear ya. I’m tired of talking about it. But I’m going to keep talking about it because people like you keep asking that question.
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and though there are dozens of witnesses, no one says, “Stop.”
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and though there are dozens of witnesses, they can’t get anyone to come forward.
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and adults are informed of it, but no consequences are doled out because the boys “said nothing happened.”
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and we later find out that their coaches were “joking about it” and “took care of it.”
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and even though there is documentation of the coaching staff sweeping it under the rug, they get to keep their jobs.
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and one of the coaches involved in the cover-up threatens a reporter – saying, “You’re going to get yours. And if you don’t get yours, somebody close to you will.” – but the town is more worried about keeping their coaching talent than his integrity.
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, take pictures of the process, and it becomes a source of ridicule along social networks, whitewashing the crime with hashtags.
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Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and then joke about it on video – saying, “She is so raped,” “They raped her quicker than Mike Tyson!”, “They raped her more than the Duke lacrosse team!”, and she was “deader than Trayvon Martin.” – while everyone else laughs. (Warning: this video will make you sick to your stomach.)
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Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and the town is more concerned with preserving their football program than the fact that their children are attacking others without remorse.
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and the mainstream media laments the fact that their “promising futures” have been dashed by their crimes – as though THEY are the victims.
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and even though she’s been through enough, the 16 year old victim’s name is shared on national television.
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, but because it happens at a party where both sexes were drinking, complete strangers on the internet argue ferociously that she is to blame for being attacked.
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Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and members of the community issue death threats against the victim.
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Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and it is documented across social media channels, and the media informs us that the takeaway is to be more careful about what we post to social media.
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and when a cover-up is exposed by a group of hackers, we call them “terrorists” and the culpable “victims.”
Yeah, I’m talking about Steubenville. Tired of hearing about it? Ok, let’s talk about something else.
Rape culture is when the Steubenville is far from the first instance of athletic clubs covering up sexual violence allegations. See: Sandusky, Michigan State 2010, Arizona State 2008, University of Colarado 2006, University of Iowa 2008, Lincoln High School 2012, University of Montana 2012, Marquette 2011, plus this research (and there’s more to find if you dig)
Rape culture is when universities across the country do not report rape to the police, but handle the matter via “honor boards” – ultimately shielding perpetrators from criminal consequences.
Rape culture is when universities threaten to expel a student for speaking out about her rape (without ever identifying her attacker) because it’s harassment to talk about her suffering.
Rape culture is when a comedian has a long history of making jokes about rape and sexual assault, is defended from backlash by the comic community, and doesn’t lose his fan base.
Rape culture is when a journalist says this…
I think that the entire conversation is wrong. I don’t want anybody to be telling women anything. I don’t want men to be telling me what to wear and how to act, not to drink. And I don’t, honestly, want you to tell me that I needed a gun in order to prevent my rape. In my case, don’t tell me if I’d only had a gun, I wouldn’t have been raped. Don’t put it on me to prevent the rape.
… and the public responds with this…
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Rape culture is when politicians don’t understand how requiring a transvaginal ultrasound of a rape victim seeking an abortion is like raping her all over again.
Rape culture is when political candidates say that God sometimes intends rape, and that some girls just “rape easy,” and that “legitimate rape” does not result in pregnancy… and do not lose the backing of their party or party leaders.
Rape culture is when a speaker at a political convention makes a rape joke about a sexual violence victim advocate, and he brings the house down with laughter.
Rape culture is when we spend all our time telling women to avoid being raped by modifying their behavior, inferring blame back onto the victim.
Rape culture is when stunning displays of privilege and willful ignorance combine to create this:
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and this:
Rape culture is when a woman speaks out about rape culture, and gets subjected to this.
Rape culture is when you’re tired of hearing about “rape culture” because it makes you uncomfortable, as your attempt to silence discourse on the subject means we never raise enough awareness to combat it – and that’s part of why it sticks around.
So yeah, I’m sorry you’re tired of hearing about it. But I wouldn’t expect us to shut up anytime soon. Nor should we.
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Originally published on RantAgainstTheRandom.com
UPDATE: At the author’s request, we will not be publishing comments which caveat the discussion of rape culture with false rape accusation concerns. There is a reason for this, which you can read here.
The writer does a good job demonstrating there is a ‘rape culture’ inherent in our sports institutions. This is a valid problem that needs to be addressed.
However, she utterly fails to demonstrate there is a ‘rape culture’ in wider society. A few off color ads and politician gaffes does not meet the high burden of proof required to prove the existence of a rape culture.
This is really disgusting. women- young girls- blamed and called sluts for what? Drinking (maybe their first drinks) and falling asleep. Women/girl: drinks and is called a slut/whore, Boys: RAPE someone and are sympathesied with for being punished. It didn’t ‘just happen’ to them, they actively chose to rape and use an unconscious person! That these people exist in America, who immediately think women are to blame and are sluts for drinking, or even just ‘getting raped mean they must be sluts,’ I agree, is ridiculous! What if a man got drunk and passed out and was raped, would he… Read more »
Thank you. Really brave, powerful, and important piece.
also, here’s an interesting article that ran in an Australian website recently – http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/sexual-assault-and-alcohol/
worth a read
This may be controversial but it’s pertinent to the topic so here goes. Several of my past girlfriends have told me that they have a rape fantasy and have wanted me to fulfil the fantasy through sexual roll playing.
I’ve always felt weird about it so I’ve never actually gone through with it. My question is; is it okay to role play a rape fantasy if it’s between consenting adult who are in a committed relationship? If so, does this contribute to rape culture?
You’re tired of hearing about the rape culture? Then do something about it. Teach your sons not to rape, teach your daughters to demand respect. And most off all stop blaming the victim. When you do, you ARE the problem.
So it seems that America’s “rape culture” is entirely connected to America’s bizarre obsession with and fetishization of their high school and university sports teams.
http://www.thechronicleherald.ca/metro/1122345-who-failed-rehtaeh-parsons is this the society you speak of , when you say , when you judge , when YOU DECIDE that it I , or we , them who should walk away? Is this ok with you? Is this what Rape and Crises abuse was intended for? Is this what you mean by ignore our children? What is it you really think? What is acceptable for your OWN children?
I just wanted to take a moment , and address the text book psychology of Jon and Jane doe’s. We have read , we have gone to therapy , we have applied what we learned from the social heirarchial past generation of the effect and affected. They did not speak. So , I do not have my picture up. Oh , well. But moving on twards rape culture.. did that therapy really work for you , just want other Jon and Janes to think on it. Did it really help you over come the abuse? I , constantly battle societies… Read more »
I do not accept my cultures response to my life. I do not accept being told because I was sexually assaulted as a child I am not a good parent. I do not accept , middle class ignorance of my mom told me not to talk about it , and so its not real. I do not accept , being told I am a liar when I reach out. I do not accept years of therapy teaching me not to be a victim. And having my community terrorize me , because I see another child of circumstance victimized. I do… Read more »
Dear Jane, obviously not your real name. Your rage in response to your abuse is natural, but when you turn it into a philosophy, a lifestyle and an identity you render yourself useless to all other sufferers. Your words say that you will not accept victimisation, but you have no control over victimisation, only over whether you become a victim. You do not have an exclusive license on trauma, many people have gone through what you have been through and far worse. It is not being victimised that determines whether you remain traumatised and whether your life is disabled by… Read more »
I think that your systemically an issue on perception. I can not define an entire life in a paragraph. I can not define an entire personality , in a sentence. Life is about perception. What you see is the sum of catalyst of an event. Your answer is your perception= of your view of that event from “your eyes” and not always is the truth , going to be your truth. I am not angry , angry is a waste of money. I would be hurt. Angry is a waste of therapy. Hurt is the underlying issue. Stating any ideology… Read more »
Rape is despised by most people. There may be a small subculture of very loosely organized memes about rape, but to generalize that to “we have a rape culture” is hyperbole. The idea that men are callous towards rape belies the fact that men have mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters, none of whom he would want to be raped. Most men are naturally providers for and protectors of women, so again this doesn’t square with reality. But perhaps the hyperbole is necessary given the seriousness of these crimes. Please note however that the hyperbole itself is not victimless as it… Read more »
1. “The idea that men are callous towards rape” Rape culture is not solely perpetuated by men, and the author never said that anywhere. 2. ” belies the fact that men have mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters, none of whom he would want to be raped.” This right here is a perfect example of rape culture. Women must be placed in direct relation to men to justify why they don’t deserve to be raped. Perhaps in a society WITHOUT rape culture, people would talk more about how women deserve better than rape because they’re human beings. 3. “Most men are… Read more »
I am not a rapist, none of my male friends are rapists either & I am sure of it otherwise we wouldn’t be friends, is there Sicko’s or just plain violent men sure there is I ‘v even met & known few murderers here & their in forty years , never met a rapist though, does it happen?? sure, but not even close to your ideology claims the the numbers are!!! There is a lot more scientific & reliable sources that dispute your claims & I tend to believe them.
Well we are around (left overs from broken society) and they exist http://www.homefacts.com/offender-detail/MTMT00069453/Frank-Eugene-Johnson.html hes the first one to get a ranking of 3 and got out 7 years early of one consequitive count. He had three but two he didnt serve.
Realistically, it’s more accurate to say *as far as you know* none of your friends are rapists, or that they wouldn’t be your friends if you knew that they were rapists. It’s almost tempting fate to say you don’t know any rapists. There are plenty of rapists whose friends and family didn’t suspect a thing….
You have no idea what your friends have done. Just because they haven’t told you, doesn’t mean they haven’t done it. And just because a woman doesn’t tell someone she has been raped, doesn’t mean she hasn’t been!
If telling men “not to commit rape” would stop rape, why hasn’t God telling man “thou shalt not kill”, not stopped murders?
To a large degree it (or other forms of this ethical injunction) has… it isn’t the case that one in six people have been murdered.
I live in Hawaii, and things like this don’t happen where I live. The town is small, and Hawaii is very different from the people that live in the states. The only crimes that happen frequently here are people that smoke weed, miss jury duty, or they get arrested for drunk driving. I didn’t want to read the article, and I didn’t. I read a few words, but I knew that if I read everything, whatever is on my desk would be broken. Even though I do not live in a violent place, I’m hyper-vigilant. I don’t walk with my… Read more »
Julie Ann, if these things don’t happen where you live, why the need to be hyper-vigilant? You fail to miss irony in your comment: Your need to protect yourself enforces the author’s main point, which is that rape culture puts the onus on the woman (in most cases) to prevent rape, and is blamed if she does not, rather than raising our sons to believe that violating someone in unacceptable. Most rapes are not done by the stranger hiding in the bushes. It is committed by men (in most cases) who grew up in a culture that told them to… Read more »
^ Oooops, I meant to say “You fail to see the irony…”
Hi Jacobtk
Let’s talk about rape of men!
Who stops the info reaching our media?
Here is my person experience.( I am a woman) ,
In the eighties in worked for a while in a high security prison for men. A prison with many murderers.
The night I sat down and read all the files about crimes they had committed.
I was stunned.
Many men had murdered another man after he had been raped by him.
I can not give details.
But I knew these facts are deliberately kept away from us. Why ? And by whom?
But
Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and though there are dozens of witnesses, they can’t get anyone to come forward. Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and we later find out that their coaches were “joking about it” and “took care of it.” Rape culture is when a group of athletes rape a young girl, and even though there is documentation of the coaching staff sweeping it under the rug, they get to keep their jobs. I do acknowledge that what you describe as rape culture exists in… Read more »
“Tight group of people tend to protect themselves ” like the catholic church?
Now there is a rape culture for you – in fact almost all religions blame the raped person
Hi Erin
Thank you.
You expressed this so well. This my thoughts to. I I agree!
Let’s say for the sake of argument that women are the clear majority of rape victims and that men are the clear majority of rapists. Just for the moment. So, I’m unclear why this percentage difference actually matters, even if it’s statistically significant. Really, is rape a “majority rules” kind of issue? I don’t know if there is any other issue so hotly argued on the GMP where there is so much attention to getting the percentages exactly correct or debating whether a group of people is a large majority, slight majority, large minority, small minority, or infinitesimally small percentage.… Read more »
I guess for me, it matters because it begins to get into the whys of the issue. Why is one group more vulnerable to being a victim of certain act from another group. What can we do to identify it. What can we do to prevent it. What does society do to contribute to it. How do we get this one group that are known to be bigger violators toward another group to stop what they are doing. Tackle what happens to the majority, not because it means what happens to the minority is less important but because it gets… Read more »
As it should be! When there is an article about female rape victims, the comments are about male rape victims and how men don’t get aknowledged enough for the issues they face regarding rape. Women don’t feel like they are being heard. Men don’t either. And that’s the real problem. Wrong. When there is a topic about rape as a whole and it’s turned into “rape is a women issue”, for sure you’ll have people calling it out. It’s as if we had an article about murder, just murder, and someone said “it’s a men’s issue”. Murder is a human… Read more »
In this comment, Erin, you repeatedly mischaracterized the discussion “men on this site” are having as trying to steer discussion away from female rape to that of male rape. I don’t know if it’s deliberate or not, but what you’re completely ignoring is that the core issue in this discussion isn’t male rape or female rape, it’s that piece of feminist theory known as Rape Culture. It’s right there in the title, and then spelled out in the post in an impressive display of truthiness. I mean, it just feels so true, doesn’t it? I don’t think it would be… Read more »
Contrary to what you would like to believe ove me Marcus, I do not think it’s sexist or troubling for men to want to talk about male rape. The part that becomes troubling, although I don’t believe it’s purposely sexist, is when men don’t want to ever address female rape. And my comments are pretty clear about that. I did not just make a comment about men wanting to talk about male rape. I made an observation about how I’ve seen conversations come down under certain articles. And I will restate it because I’m not sure you understood what I… Read more »
“I believe it contributes to a culture that still values male sexuality over respecting others.”
I disagree. Replace “male sexuality” with “hegemonic masculinity” and you’re on to something, though.
I can get on board with that Drew.
“I remember being back in grade school and the boys being very sexually pushy and aggresive at that age. I remember the girls going along with it because it was usually the popular boys who got away with the most. There were always popular girls but the popular boys where who ran the school. They made comments freely about girl’s bodies infront of all of us, who was pretty, who was too fat..it was a game for the boys to run around snapping our bras and hings like that” I have no idea how close we are in age, but… Read more »
Jack, I can understand wanting to share your own experiences, but at the same time, I am left with the impression that I am not really being listened to and my experiences are being written off because you really want to talk about yours instead. You are very careful to say that the boys were a little more aggressive and crude but at the end of the day, you clearly believe that everything is still equal. Sharing my experiences wasn’t an attempt to say little girls are perfect and boys are horrible. I however thing we do have an out… Read more »
Erin, I wasn’t ignoring your experiences at all. The reason why I brought up your age relative to mine is that I was wondering whether or not what you speak of is a generational thing. You were talking about rape culture and how that affects the way males behave, citing your experiences at school as evidence. Now I’m a pretty young guy, but many of the actions you mentioned the boys doing when you were in school was also done by the girls at my school. As I said a lot of the chasing in grade school was playful, but… Read more »
Grade school, ages 4-11 maybe 12, high school ages 12-17 maybe 18. Big difference. You implied huge sexuality run amok for 5-12, who would do something with bra straps. Most girls don’t wear bras at 5-12 (it’s not physically needed until the breasts are actually heavy enough for it to matter at all – with my 34A I can gladly go without, even for sport (though I might consider a sports bra for jogging and such)). Bras in the 12-18 age range sounds reasonable, as is sexuality actually being on display, and adults being all “kids will be kids, let… Read more »
Whether there is a rape culture or not, is up to each individual to decide for themselves. But whether you believe in it or not, there are very specific problems regarding rape and how men and women treat one another. Oh, if only it were so. That first sentence matches my opinion that rape culture is a faith-based concept, not an empirical one. So, if you believe it, all data fits the model no matter what, because ideas founded on faith can’t be falsified. I agree with the second sentence, too, that there are problems regarding rape and how the… Read more »
To be fair, the author does warn us on her blog:
“It’s going to be random, opinionated, and, at times, utter nonsense. Be prepared.”
I don’t get the sense that she would include this article in the “utter nonsense” category, but I don’t see why we can’t call it nonsense if she admits she writes nonsense sometimes.
Erin, you talk about ‘culture’ as if there was only one, and generalise your personal experience into the global without the slightest evidence. There are many cultures, even within small geographical areas, and to subsume them into a single construct denies the human rights and validity of others. For instance, if I were to look at feminist culture (which is quite diverse of itself) and generalise that to the entire female population, I would have to conclude that women are man hating sexists driven by the desire for dominance and control and utterly careless about how they got it. Then… Read more »
“They are sick of hearing about women that are raped it seems. But I think men do that because of their own pain.” I don’t think it’s that. Frankly, many of us are tired of “Rape Culture” being a euphemism for “The way men think rape is okay because they run the world and everything is always awesome for them.” We’re tired of about hearing about how Men are Awful and Abusive and Rapists and Oppressors, about the Great Patriarchy Conspiracy, about how Women Always Have It Worse. We’re tired of hearing that “Men think women’s bodies are communal property!”… Read more »
Thank you for saying this, Erin… It does seem sometimes that the comments are seemingly divided into (1) TEAM MEN: those who support male victims and (2) TEAM WOMEN: those who support female victims… I agree that there is a lot of defensiveness on this site, when perhaps a word or two of empathy for the “other team” would suffice…instead of turning it into the Rape Victim Olympics…. As it is, my HS friend and I discussed our teenage kids recently while waiting on line at a concert…he is not letting his beautiful 11th grader go on any dates during… Read more »
Erin: What I have observed on GMP is that when there is an article about male rape victims, the comments are about male rape victims. The problem male rape victims face Let’s look at one of those articles: https://goodmenproject.com/on-rape-and-sexual-violence/male-rape-survivors-and-victim-blaming/ A woman commenter found that article to be the appropriate place to bring up the issue of false accusations. Later on there is a queer woman writing about how she was raped by another queer woman. Aside from the first woman commenter questioning her rape there was no “what about the wimminz” invectives thrown at her. James Landrith – the male… Read more »
Nothing rare about female rapists. Studies with college goers find that just as many boys report being pressured and forced to have sex as girls do. 50% of women in the lesbian community report having been sexually assaulted by another woman. I personally experience rape twice as young man, two different women deciding to have sex with me while I was in a drunken coma. One I had never met and the other had made advances which I refused earlier in the night. Funny how when men talk about their experience of rape on this discussion, no one wants to… Read more »
I’ve seen examples of the phenomenon you’re talking about, where someone is talking about women victims and someone responds by focusing on male victims. Sometimes that appears to be an attempt to shift the discussion onto a more male-centric point of view. I can see how someone might think that’s somehow dismissing women victims. But, many times the responder brings up male victims because an article or series of comments seems to be stuck in the male perp/female victim model. Then the response is just an attempt to add some balance to the discussion. Sometimes that attempt to add balance… Read more »
I’m tired of hearing about rapists and cases of disgusting and barbaric rapes all the time but until that stops, we’ll keep talking about the culture that perpetuates it. So stop the rape and we don’t have to talk about it. Simple. Only the perpetrators of this culture can stop it but they won’t. So let’s keep blasting people with it until they finally understand
News for you Selina, you are the perpetrator of this ‘culture’, because rape isn’t a culture at all, it’s a human behaviour committed by both genders, and you are a human being. this will stop when we address the real causes of rape, meanwhile your attempts to make it ‘nothing to do with me’ are actually the problem that stops us addressing it. Rape and other violence occurs within the context of dehumanising the person being violated, and your comment is dehumanises and stereotypes men. If you really want to be part of the solution you will take responsibility for… Read more »
Sorry, but I think just telling people not to rape wont solve anything.
I have a message in moderation….
” I’m tired of hearing about rapists and cases of disgusting and barbaric rapes all the time but until that stops, we’ll keep talking about the culture that perpetuates it. So stop the rape and we don’t have to talk about it. Simple. Only the perpetrators of this culture can stop it but they won’t. So let’s keep blasting people with it until they finally understand ” You are right, lets just tell people to stop rape. Why didnt we did that sooner? *sarcasm* Telling people to stop rape wont accomplish anything. And the subject need more debate, since it… Read more »
@ Mr Supertypo, You may be righter than you know. Not to long ago I came across a very interesting article that was linked through cracked.com – it was about racism (“5 Weirdest things that can cause you to be more racist”) rather than sexism – but I wouldn’t be surprised if similar human dynamics come into play. The gist of the article is that some of the things that we might think can have positive effect for fighting racism actually have the opposite effect; and end up provoking more racism. They cited a study done at the University of… Read more »
I dont have the time right now to check the links you posted, but Ill do as soon I have, so I bookmark them for now. Yes I agree with you, but I dont think the problem lies in being told what or what not to do. But rather how the message is delivered: ie : teach men not to rape, it should be instead, teach people not to rape. The first one, is incorrect, because its specific, and ignore to many dynamics and it put men on the defensive and they logically react in that way. The second instead… Read more »
have a message in moderation…
So, what I hear you saying is that we will continue to hear about rape culture until there is no more rape in the world. This reminds me of the War on Terror. Presumably the War on Terror will be over when there is no more terrorism anywhere in the world? Sounds like a never-ending war. If the existence of rape is proof of the existence of rape culture, then rape culture has to be one of the oldest, most durable parts of human culture, undented for millennia. I guess that’s the good news for Rape Culture Theory as a… Read more »
If you can stomach watching the video, there are some serious lessons there. While Trent is completely disgusting, as is the kid with the camera who’s egging him to keep going with his string of insults, there is at least one guy in the room who wants it to stop. He just doesn’t know how to make it happen. He tries reasoning with Trent saying “What if that was your daughter?” “I have a little sister,” “This is messed up,” “You raped a girl,” “You’re going to jail”. But Trent just keeps going with his “she’s deader than…” comments. At… Read more »
Insightful points J. And I totally agree with you and appreciate your comments because it’s not really something anyone else brought up.
as a survivor of rape, i thank you for this.
When I was 20 years of age I worked as a glass collector in a night club that had a weekly male stripper night where hundreds of girls gleefully congregated to get very drunk and watch men dance naked. The drunker they got the more violent they became, until one night one of the girls grabbed me by the throat from behind and forced me backwards onto a table, 6 of her friends held me down and another girl started to remove my clothes and tried to initiate sex with me, until security arrived to intervene. No one was charged… Read more »
It is not wise to debate anyone who has already appointed themselves as the paramount arbiter of what is and what is not rape culture. And what is and what is not the nexus of maleness within that culture. I tend to believe the debate (if there is a debate) is less about ‘rape’ but more about ‘culture’ – that is, about the power to define & collectivize what constitutes ‘culture’ arbitrarily. A man or woman takes up a paint brush, a pen, a videocamera, a megaphone, or a gun: What will they do with it? But more importantly to this… Read more »
A quick question.
I get the sense that the issue of rape culture is worse in the States than here in Australia. ( I am not saying it doesn’t exist here though). The States pays so much more attention to high school and tertiary sport. Plus the States have that weird mix of cheer leaders and sport that provides a very gendered dynamic.
What are your thoughts on the dangers of providing these aggrandizing environments for pubescent males? Do you think it makes it worse?
Cam, that’s a really interesting insight that I never thought about. I think if kids are brought up in a healthy environment with mutual respect for both genders, a very gendered dynamic, shouldn’t matter. I don’t think the heavily gendered dynamic is the problem. Boys playing football and girl cheerleading isn’t the issue. There is a reason boys tend to gravitate toward football and girls toward cheerleading. Boys and girls are different. But I think it’s the lack of respect for each other and our different skills and gifts that’s the real issue. And that problem starts with adults and… Read more »
“If boys and girls and men and women truly respect each other and their differences, then highly tenderized environments shouldn’t be so tricky…” Interesting thought….a bunch of my HS FB friends and I have been getting together and sharing odd stories about how some of our most respected and beloved teachers from our very liberal, elite NYC magnet school were a bunch of secret perverts….there were stories about teachers trying to ask for dates, inappropriate touches, and come-ons….shocking stuff! In retrospect, it does make you wonder about those unspoken entitled, sexist attitudes that filter down from our teachers and parents… Read more »
Cam, culture is only a weak contributor to violence (but don’t tell the feminists, they’ve built their empire on the idea that culture is the only cause of human behaviour). These environments do promote violence but not because they promote gendered role stereotypes. They put large groups of young people together where pack mentality, sexual arousal and alcohol combine to promote our more primal behaviours and dis-inhibit our more civilised ones. You see exactly the same behaviour by women at male stripper nights, foot ball matches and any environment where one group is dominant. It’s just what humans do when… Read more »
I tell this again, the root problem of this rape culture is male sexuality ( what men believe about sexuality ), not violence culture. As long as men believe you need to become a ladies man, a man who can make any women want to have sex with you to became a real man, rape culture will still exist. As long as men don’t respect their own bodies and think their body is ugly and have no sexual value, rape culture will still exist. As long as men still think showing their emotions and vulnerability is shameful and not manly,… Read more »
Because usually the proposed solutions are offered in a limited scope of “how can we fix this for women?”. Now that’s a good question however when asking like that you end up starting off thinking that the problems of rape culture are limited to how it affects women. And even when men are brought into the mix its usually on the premise that they need to change in order to fix it for women. There’s usually not much room for the fixing of things that are affecting men (which generate affects that harm everyone) for the sake of helping men… Read more »
Hi John
Thank you
It is strange to read all the comments above, in fact they scare me.
Nearly all men here are defensive instead of expressing empathy with the girl.
Where I live, rape of men and boys are not swept under the carpet.
“Nearly all men here are defensive instead of expressing empathy with the girl.” This article is about rape culture isn’t it? Not just this girl? Men are also raised to not show empathy much so I myself FIND IT EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to even know how to express my empathy apart from wanting to set fire to the rapists. Your comment scares me because of your utter lack of empathy and understanding of men here and how you are trying to paint them as unempathic because they are talking about rape culture as the article suggests vs singling out her. What… Read more »
This article is about rape culture, the alleged culture by which men supposedly facilitate and support rape. The ‘girl’ has nothing to do with it, except as a useful scapegoat for the author to promote her sexist agenda. the whole point of the so called ‘defensiveness’ is that most men are just as horrified by rape as most women are, and we are tired o being demonised by feminists using the victims of violent crime for their own political agenda. SO what you are saying is that men being angry about being stereotyped and labelled as monsters is proof that… Read more »