A sadistic streak was revealed as our future brothers shouted, “Are you man enough to take it?”
Taking a long look at college fraternity hazing practices, the president of Cornell University, Dr. David J. Skorton, concluded his recent New York Times op-ed piece by insisting that “pledging—and the humiliation and bullying that go with it—can no longer be the price of entry.”
What prompted that diatribe was his recollection of student deaths caused by what he called “coerced drinking.” As he pointed out, “Alcohol makes it easier for members to subject recruits to physical and mental abuse without feeling remorse…” and blamed booze not only for the ritualized cruelty but also for the impaired judgment of those being hazed, their ability to resist significantly reduced.
Dr. Skorton certainly had a point, but I don’t think what he termed “high-risk drinking” is the only negative factor in collegiate hazing. Booze was never an issue when I pledged a college fraternity, decades ago. UCLA prohibited on-campus drinking; there was no looking the other way.
But that didn’t halt or temper the humiliation one had to submit to when pledging a Greek-letter group. I remember enduring a full semester of insults and put-downs that reached their climax with “Hell Week,” a Sunday-to-Saturday test of endurance and of what was called “fraternity spirit.”
My pledge class was small; we were easy prey. For seven days and nights we lived and dined like lower beasts, worked round-the-clock doing tedious and demeaning chores, then were kept up half the night by organized harassment. This was supposed to test our will, I guess, prove our worthiness, demonstrate our fierce desire to become fully accepted brothers.
What it did, actually, was put on display the sadistic streak that most of our future brothers normally concealed. It wasn’t enough that we were called “pieces of shit” routinely in the wee hours of the morning or were urged to slap each other’s faces—hard—to delight whoever was watching. We were finally pressed to become low-order exhibitionists.
On our penultimate night, we were rudely roused from sleep and told to line up, facing the brothers, each of whom took delight in tweaking our weariness. Then one of them snarled, “Take down your shorts, men,” and when we held back, the order was shouted again right in our faces.
So we dropped our drawers obediently. “Now, jack off.” What? The command was repeated. “Go at it—really pull it. We know you know how; we wanna see you come!”
We couldn’t look at each other, and it was torture to look at those watching us. We complied; that I know. But nobody came and nobody even got hard. We did what we were told in what must have been a truly pathetic display of compliance.
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Reading Dr. Skorton’s essay brought that ugly episode back to mind, for at the time it left me with a cynical view of fraternity life that I never succeeded in shaking. Nor have I shucked the shroud of regret that shaped my fraternity experience. I still beat myself up for not having had the balls to obey my impulses and sound a demand for dignity.
Why didn’t I seize the opportunity to defy fraternal authority—pull up my shorts, shout “Go fuck yourselves, pervs!” and walk out?
In truth, I wasn’t brave enough to do that, to risk alienation for my remaining college stay. At the time, I needed desperately to be part of something. Why did I think being a fraternity brother would fill that void? It never did. Fraternity brotherhood was, and is, mostly a bullshit notion.
Army recruits get verbally abused during various stages of training, a form of structured harassment designed to toughen them mentally as well as physically. Yes, that experience is usually unpleasant and often cruel, but it serves a real purpose, one that’s hardly shared by the sometimes savage hazing that Greek letter organizations impose on their young pledges.
“Are you man enough to take it?” is the question that fraternity members seem to ask when raining insults and humiliation on those knocking at the door of brotherhood. I thought about this long after my pledge status ended and continue to wonder, even now: Why would anyone want to link arms with men whose abusive nature has been revealed so vividly? Further, why would the ability to take crap from people not necessarily his betters make a young man a more deserving fraternity brother?
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Dr. Skelton’s essay did suggest that change may be occurring, however slowly. He pointed out one fraternity’s Balanced Man Program, which he said “replaces the traditional pledging period with a continuing emphasis on community service and personal development.”
I’m afraid that sounds pretty lofty and mostly unmeasurable, but it does hint at the possibility that, at least in some quarters, fraternity membership for new pledges will begin with their need to prove their worthiness—not by tolerating abuse but by making positive contributions to the world outside the frat house.
For young men on the cusp of adulthood, learning that all of life need not be a pissing match would be a major step toward asserting their manhood and gaining a lock on maturity. Also, I think, for each aspiring brother, having to earn a measure of personal honor would make fraternity membership a richer and much more significant association.
Excellent!! Its about time someone stood up to show hazing for what it is – ‘Abuse’!!
I’m all for banter and tough military exercises,but hazing degrades people rather than building them up. Its often destructive rather than constructive and forces people to break their own moral code.
There is nothing ‘manly’ about putting up with or dishing out abuse.
And it Greek organizations like the one mentioned in here that make the true Greek spirited people look so bad. The fact that hazing still occurs is what’s making Greek life look bad and making it that much harder for the Greek society to be accepted by Universities, Communities and the Non-Greek Student Body. Honestly, when I read this, every time ‘Fraternity’ comes up, I feel the word should be replaced with ‘Frat’ because a true fraternity that builds true brotherhood does not tear people down… thats what ‘Frats’ do. I personally asked myself when I pledge to Beta Theta… Read more »
While I don’t challenge the notion that fraternities and sororities can produce intimate life-long friendships, I do bridle at the thought that demonstrating an ability to endure humiliation over an extended period of time is a particularly valid way to project one’s worthiness. College freshmen, women as well as men, are extremely vulnerable—emotionally immature while trying to project a measure of maturity. That they pledge a particular house knowing that humiliation is in store for them does not excuse the fact that they’re soon to be reduced to base creatures. While I do not advocate any legal action to prevent… Read more »
People have done shitty things in the name of many organized institutions. This does not excuse the actions that you and other have suffered, but it also does not give you the right to tar all other Greek brotherhoods with the same brush. The fraternity I joined, Sigma Chi, has a strict no-hazing policy, and I have never seen anything that I, or anyone else could consider hazing while being a member. Without knowing the exact age of the author, I can say that there has been widespread changes in the Greek culture to weed out such activities, as we… Read more »
… Who pledges to a fraternity not knowing what they’re in for? I mean really, it’s common knowledge that the fraternity pledging process sucks and is terrible. I couldn’t imagine ever wanting any part in either the greek culture or the pledging process. But it’s not like it’s a surprise for anyone smarter than rock salt who goes to try out for the frat. But the hazing process isn’t to build mental toughness. And it’s not about being an outlet for sadism – although it sometimes feels that way. It’s a constructed way to built a fraternal sense of belonging.… Read more »