Yesterday, while in conversation with someone, I found myself dismayed at a comment they made that it was ‘pointless’ to initiate a conversation with a stranger since they would likely never become a friend. I shook my head and smiled as I related a story that weaved a magical thread around a five year period. I had been one of a half dozen or so speakers at MoMondays which is a storytelling event in which people share delicious tidbits and slices of life. Some sad, some tickle your funny bone humorous, some profound; all deeply personal. I had the experience three times over the years. One included a man named Jay Murphy who was born in Ireland but moved to the states later on. He was regaling us with tales about his father and the effect he had on his life. At dinner after the show, I told him that going to Ireland was on my bucket list and I inquired where a nearly vegetarian teetotaler goes in Ireland. He smiled, and replied in his delightful accent, “Darlin’, a vegetarian teetotaler doesn’t go to Ireland. She goes to Ohio.” By the way, Irish accents melt me and I have two friends Colman and Jacinta who hail from there and I love to hear them speak. She assured me as someone who fits into that category, that there were indeed places that would meet my culinary needs when I was to eventually make the journey and she would be glad to direct me.
Fast forward five years and I am eagerly anticipating my trip across the pond to celebrate turning 60. Two weeks prior to boarding the plane, I found myself on a train heading home from Philadelphia to Doylestown, PA. Behind me and to the left sit a father and his young son. The little boy is tired and crying a bit. I walked back there and offered him a colorful feather. I always carry them with me for all sorts of occasions and this one seemed to fit the bill. He wasn’t having it, so I gave it to his dad who was doing his level best to comfort him. We started casual chit chat and I asked, “Do I detect an Irish accent?” He confirmed that he was born there and now lives in this area. I told him about my upcoming visit to his homeland. He wished me a good time. Before he and his son get off the train, we introduce ourselves by name. Guess who it was? What are the chances that five years later, two weeks prior, I should run into one Jay Murphy? Only 100% since it happened. As it turns out when I went to Ireland, I did indeed find many vegetarian options and I enjoyed going to pubs with my fellow travelers and drank water, seltzer, tea, and juice as I enjoyed the foot-tapping, body swaying, soul-satisfying music.
Many years earlier, as I was going through a check out line at a local supermarket, I struck up a conversation with a woman in line as well. The cashier knew both of us and that we were writers. Donna was wearing a necklace that matched the earrings I had on. We agreed to get together to talk shop, I went to a writing class she taught, she asked me to be one of her readers for a historical fiction book she was penning, she included me in a book called Sensational Singles. I used to call her, ‘my other Jewish mother,’ although she is only that much older than I am to be a cool older sister. A few years ago, I was at a dollar store, (maybe even in the same shopping center) and I turn around and who is there?
Yesterday I was at one of the highlights of my summer called The XPoNential Music Festival that is put on by my favorite radio station WXPN. I was sprawled out on a blanket next to my friend Chris. He and I met initially at the same event maybe 10 years ago when I noticed his bright smile and welcoming presence. He was wearing a straw hat covered with pins. One said that he offered FREE HUGS. Since I do too, I asked him for one (a hug, not a button). That one interaction launched a friendship that had us rendezvousing each year at the same event. Wait, it gets even more fun…
In 2010, when I was en route to my mother’s funeral in Florida, a colorful and caring flight attendant named Jewelee began talking to me when she noticed SARK‘s book called Glad No Matter What on my lap. The topic was about grief. She took care of me on the trip and we have maintained a friendship ever since. Although she lives in West Palm Beach, Florida with her husband Scott and dancer daughters Sabrina and Vanessa, she used to make regular flights to Philadelphia. On one of her trips northward, she brought the girls and I arranged for us to go to a Zydeco music concert since they were regular Jazzfest attendees. I arrived before they did and who should be right behind me, but Chris, straw hat and vivid smile and hugs at the ready?! Turns out that he too was a flight attendant and he and Jewelee were good friends. We all still get a laugh about it. Another fun and frolicsome friend is Virginia who also flies the friendly skies. Her darling daughter Sophia adds sparkle. In 2014, they invited me to go to NOLA with them. There I met their friends Loreen and Ron. Last night, they too were at the fest here in my area visiting from their home in New England. We immersed in the music of blockbuster Irish musician Hozier as I marveled at the connection that occurred because I talked to a stranger.
I recently read this article called Want To Feel Happier Today? Try Talking To A Stranger that sheds a light on the benefits of talking to new people. It reinforced everything I have always known. We are here to enhance each other’s lives even if it is but a fleeting encounter. We never know what difference we make with eye contact or a smile.
I have come to accept that everyone we now know and love was once a stranger. I do my best never to miss an opportunity to call into my life those who bring the richness of who they are. I hope that they feel the same when we meet heart to heart.—
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Photos courtesy of the author.