After her husband had two affairs, Annah Elizabeth asked herself what kept her coming back. And she realized she wanted to define her husband by all that was good.
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Annah Elizabeth is the Jill to her hubby’s Jack-of-all-trades, an adventurous and fearless woman pledged to high heels, understanding healing, and her husband. She’s survived the death of her firstborn, three teenagers, and two affairs. She is a writer, speaker, and the creator of The Five Facets, a grassroots movement designed to understand how we recover in the face of Death, Despair, and Destruction. You can find her in the fields, in the classroom, on our highways and byways, and musing about life, loss, learning, and moxie at The Five Facets: the blog, on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
Annah…. thank you. Thank you so much. I’ll share my story too, when I’m more heathy, emotionally, and physically.
But thank you.
Please respond by email? I’ll send you my phone #, would love to talk
To you.
It turns out that when you do deep interviews of sexual behavior with women wearing lie detector apparatus, they turn out to have about twice as many sexual partners as they report without the lie detector. Men not so. As a bit of a rake in the past, I can tell you that I slept with about six married women and one who was engaged. That was awhile ago. I bring this up because the standard around here usually seems to be one set by women. That’s okay. I’m one of those guys who does cross the street to avoid… Read more »
Well, Hank, of course sometimes they are. 🙂 After all, nobody’s really perfect – not on this Earth, anyway. The problem with people, is that they usually want perfection. All those good things that husband has to offer, PLUS fidelity. But I noticed one thing: – Some people are good at not making you suffer, but they usually aren’t the more resourceful. They are good people but, well, not really amazing ones. – Some people, instead, are more resourceful and can offer wealth of qualities, but sometimes they disappoint and hurt you. Of course, sometimes you find someone with the… Read more »
Or…good people are sometimes not naturally monogamous…?
Hank,
I don’t see that as a problem unless monogamy is implied or understood. Conflict arising as result of infidelity is due to a perception or vision of something different than what occurred. That’s where the pain comes into play, for the person is experiencing a loss…
This makes me unspeakably sad. Is it wonderful that you can move beyond two affairs? There is so much more that defines a marriage than just the picture perfect or even the day-to-day grind. But are there some serious parasites eating away at the core of your tree? Don’t the leaves fall off in the winter? I will not pretend to know the answers and I definitely don’t judge you. People should put up with much more than they do before firing off that divorce cannon. I don’t think it is wrong to focus on the past good in the… Read more »
Dear Morghan, Thank you for reading and sharing and for asking some valid questions. One cannot sum up an entire relationship in a short essay, so what I hope readers come away with is this: A Good Man (or woman) can redefine themselves in the face of Bad Choices. I believe it’s not The Action or the Surface Stuff that is the root of the problem, but the inner conflicts/confusion/lack of knowledge—the personal parasites–that drive individuals to make destructive decisions. Choosing to treat those afflictions lends itself to recovery and a healthier life. “What if it happens again,” has been… Read more »
You ‘don’t judge Annah?’ But, evidenced by your comments… apparently you do.
Don’t judge until you’ve lived it, honey.
Unconditional, forgiving love is nothing to be cynical about.