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Relationships are all about the compromise. You can’t really make a family work if no one is willing to go the extra mile or let go of certain desires. It’s all about balancing your personal needs with what’s best for everyone.
Of course, parents have to sacrifice a lot more than the children, and mothers give up a lot to make their children happy. But that doesn’t mean fathers and husbands don’t have a responsibility to their loved ones. To start a family and keep it happy men need to make some genuine sacrifices for the greater good. Here are the ten sacrifices a man must make to keep his family happy:
1. Change of lifestyle
It should come as no surprise that your lifestyle will change drastically after marriage. You simply can’t stay out late with the guys on weekends and come back home at the crack of dawn. You can’t really drink like there’s no tomorrow or call the guys over for to watch sports. The pace of change accelerates when you have kids. You need to start taking better care of yourself so that you can be around to watch them grow up. That means you’ll have to sacrifice smoking or any other vices that affect your health and set a bad example.
2. Playing bad cop
This is probably the biggest sacrifice any man needs to make—playing the bad cop. Fathers have a major influence on their children when they’re young. While the mom may be more willing to give into stubborn demands, you have to put your foot down and make them realize you’re not a pushover. A lot of times you may end up sounding stern like your own father, but don’t underestimate the need for tough love.
3. Time factor
Time is probably the invincible sacrifice all men have to make to keep their families happy. Whether it’s taking time away from your daily routine to attend your daughter’s school play or having to go shopping with your wife when you really feel like spending time alone. Time tends to pass by much quicker when you have a family to look after and keep happy. You might miss out on important events if you’re not careful. You might even struggle to make any time for yourself.
4. Money issues
Everyone dreams of making tremendous amounts of money, but most people fail to realize the amount of time and effort that takes. Chasing money is easier when you’re young, energetic, and solo. But with a family to support you could find your funds under pressure. The USDA estimates that the average family of four spends about $235,000 per child to raise them from birth to the age of 17. If you have two children that amount could probably double and keep accelerating with the rate of inflation. In other words, starting a family is expensive. But money is a crucial sacrifice man must make to keep the family happy.
5. Getting sleep
This particular sacrifice doesn’t get mentioned much but any father who’s had to wake up in the middle of the night to change a diaper or stay up to help with homework knows it’s a sacrifice. Most fathers should expect to be sleep-deprived in the first few years of raising kids. Add to that an early work schedule and you can see why men will need to sacrifice many hours of sleep to keep their family happy.
6. The cool factor
This sacrifice is a bit subjective. Different people have different definitions of cool, but there are certain cool things that are off-limits for the family-man. You can’t get into bar fights or spend a ton of money on a luxury sports car. You need to keep up with boring stuff like paying insurance premiums, fixing the tricycle, and mowing the lawn. Men need to accept a permanent loss of the cool factor when they start a family.
7. The dream job
It’s impossible staying up late and accepting a job in some exotic location on the other side of the planet when you have a family to support. Some fathers see no problem in moving around a lot and accepting jobs that might uproot their families. But for most men staying back in a certain place and providing the kids a sense of stability is absolutely vital.
8. Genuine passions
A bachelor can get away with almost anything. You can start a microbrewery in the garage or a football league with your work buddies. But you can expect to make a few sacrifices in terms of hobbies when you get older and start a family. You might not be able to watch every new episode of Game of Thrones because your wife wants to watch the news instead. Or you might not be able to do dangerous DIY projects because you have kids living in the house.
9. Household control
You might be the man of the house, but don’t expect to be in control of it. You wife controls the house and your kids have a lot more freedom than you. Expect your little princess to yank the TV remote out of your hand and switch the channel while you’re watching the game. Or know that you can’t have a snooker table in the living room because your wife wants to turn it into a library. Men need to relinquish control of the house when they start a family.
10. Letting go
The biggest sacrifice is probably learning to let go when their kids spread their wings. You might have taught your son how to ride his first bike, but now he’s pulling up in the driveway with his own car. You bought barbies for your daughter every Christmas but now she’s spending the holidays with her boyfriend’s family. Watching them grow up and leave the house is a bittersweet experience for fathers. It’s a sacrifice parents gladly make.
These are the sacrifices every man needs to make to see his family soar.
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Photo: Getty Images
Staying single is the only way men can be happy.
Agreed with you Mr. Kelly. Besides I have seen more females act like the bad cop.