Here is how to rock being a dad!
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I think every man who raises a child alone deserves an award and it doesn’t have to be an overwhelming task to do a good job. While some women may seem to cope better than many men as single parents, that’s not to say that you cannot absolutely rock it if you find yourself in that position. Men are built for challenges after all.
According to data from the 2010 Census, the number of children living in single-parent homes has nearly doubled since 1960, and while there are more fatherless children in the USA—about 15 million—there is still a significant portion of children that have single fathers, about five million.
It is with this group that I am fascinated. How do you do it solo?
Here are a few Amazing Tips for all the single dads:
1 – Asset or Liability—How Do You See Your Kid?
Men are dreamers by nature and being saddled with the tremendous responsibility of raising a kid or kids all by ourselves can immediately leave a lump in our throat. You suddenly feel as though you have to mortgage your life and sell all your dreams. This fear is responsible for the way some single dads treat their kids; like liabilities.
Your perception will redefine the way your relationship with your kid goes. Do not blame the kid for your failures or inability to push limits, rather turn that child into your partner and confidante. He doesn’t need to be old enough to understand what you are saying, but kids who are made to feel involved always are supportive and let the dad have the latitude he needs.
Your kids are Assets if you know how to turn them into one.
2 -Do as Much as You Can Yourself and Leave the Rest
There seems to be a steady rise in the number of home-schooled kids in the United States in spite of the stereotypes circulating around them. If you find yourself as a work at home dad or just have loads of time, rather than spend it all with the guys in a bar, home-schooling your kid could be a great idea.
It may not be immediately desirable, but it has its advantages when compared to the results of absent single dads. The idea is to do for them everything time would permit you to, and you won’t regret the feedback.
If, however, you find yourself with not enough time to spend, you can teach your kid a lot at a very early age and this can foster their independence at an early age.
For instance, teach the child to choose his or her own clothes, brush his hair and teeth, how to make the bed, etc. Toddlers are great learners when they learn by observation, so just taking them along can do wonders.
3 – Hide Your Frustrations
It will get frustrating at times, that is guaranteed, but your ability to remain calm when kids are just being kids will distinguish you among the other single dads. While it may seem that moms are used to coping emotionally with whining and drama from kids, it’s tough for them too. By creating a personal discipline, you can make choices in how you handle situations.
You can scream into the pillow and end the day with an aspirin once you are behind closed doors in your room, but never make your kid feel that he is the reason why daddy is always unhappy.
4 – Don’t Criticize their Mama
It really doesn’t matter what you think about your ex, if you are a single dad because your wife left you holding the bag—do not let your kid grow up with a bitter heart towards his mom.
If the temptation is too hard to resist, then do your best not to talk about her. When they ask, remember that you expressing negativity toward someone they love can have consequences. Besides, hating her won’t do you any good either. You have to move on for yourself and for the sake of your child too.
5 – Pay Very Close Attention
Some single dads raising daughters are too busy to even notice when their kids hit puberty or when they became sexually aware or active. They missed a very crucial time in the life of their children and lose out on the principal role of parenthood; to guide their kids through these phases.
To distinguish yourself, you must listen to their stories and ramblings, ask about school and their day, know their friends and their friend’s parents—enter their life, don’t stand aloof. When you pay attention you would recognize the transitions.
6 – Have Fun!
Kids are almost always synonymous with fun, so if you are going to rock your single “daddyhood,” you better rediscover your spirit of adventure and fun. Create as many amazing memories as you can and you just might have done 75% of the job for them at a very young age.
The point is that even fathers can be great single parents … yes, you can!
Here’s to rocking that “daddyhood!”
Photo: GettyImages
About Me
Chidike Samuelson is an expert in relationships of all kinds. As a counselor, he has helped countless people get through their relationship crisis and issues with interpersonal relationships. He is the manager of My Startup CEO. Connect with him on Facebook and Linkedin.
We all want to be here.
Great Post! I have read it fully. This is a very inspiring article for me.
Thank you so much, Chidike
Oh, and another thing. It’s true that life happens to everyone but ideally no man was meant to raise a child without the support and balance of a women. This goes both ways of course. So if a single dad meets a woman who has no qualms with his station, loves his child as her own and is willing to spend her life with him. He should himself – and his child a favour and get married, especially if the child’s biological mom is deceased. If she isn’t, then make sure your new wife integrates into your lives such that… Read more »
Great article. It was weird to me when I first discovered that there were single dad homes too. With the statistics of fathers knocking up women and leaving them high and dry, it’s refreshing to know that there are men who will stick to their responsibility. So shout out to every single father out there! More grease to your elbow
Wow! This is an awesome piece of advice.
“It will get frustrating at times, that is guaranteed, but your ability to remain calm when kids are just being kids will distinguish you among the other single dads”
I can definitely relate with that feeling.
Thanks for the article, Chidike