Jeff Jackson looks for a hero and finds one— his dad. Now, can he find that same kind of hero within himself?
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When I was a kid I had a couple of heroes, Pete Maravich for basketball and Pete Rose for baseball. Pete M. left us way too soon, but after a great career. And as for Pete R., well, you know, but nevertheless, he will always be a hero to me. He seemed to be always up against the odds, like now, but he always, always came through.
I had a lot of guys and girls I admired in the movies, but I don’t think any of them had attained the Hero status. Of course, some of my earliest memories in movies and TV were laughing. I loved to laugh and still do. People like the Marx Brothers, Carol Burnett, Laugh In, Ed Sullivan’s show with comedy acts like Richard Pryor, Corbett Monica, London Lee and George Carlin, always gave me a wonderful feeling. It was actually beyond wonderful, it was euphoric, but at that time I didn’t what that meant. Laughing is probably the quintessential human act.
Let’s go to the dictionary: Hero – a person, who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.
I filled out a survey online the other day asking about my hero as a daddy. I had a hard time thinking of one. I don’t have a hero politician who could be a hero daddy. Maybe Joe Biden who has had a troubled life and has shown outstanding bravery and courage. In sports, probably Derek Jeter who did not have a smooth and easy route to the pros, but he ultimately triumphed. Of course, he’s not a daddy (yet).
In the entertainment field, well, how do we know how any of the stars are as daddys? Jon Stewart? Brad Pitt? Steve Harvey? Tom Hanks? Steven Spielberg? These seem to be all good choices. They are all at the tops of their careers and I love them all. They are certainly heroes to me for that. I hope, and would like to believe, that they are also responsible husbands and daddys. Plus, I gotta believe that if they take the job seriously, they probably have a more difficult decision in balancing work and family by the very nature of their jobs. I haven’t met a daddy yet (and ok, I haven’t met EVERY daddy) who doesn’t struggle with work and family balance.
At the same time, every daddy I’ve met places their family as a priority and works at their job precisely to meet that goal.
Which brings me to my daddy. I’ve written about him before and he was a very modest man who didn’t appreciate any attention or recognition. He wasn’t perfect, but then again, neither am I. In any case, my dad worked at his job, even though he hated it, just to meet his family obligations. That’s heroic in my book. Ok, it doesn’t provide a very good role model for jobs, but, on the other hand, it is absolutely and supremely representative of what not to do, i.e., work at something you love and the obligation is assuredly easier. Plus, it provides a better role model (me and my job) for the little buggers who observe EVERYTHING I do.
Joseph Campbell said (and I’m paraphrasing) that in time, we need to become our own heroes. No pressure, of course. I’m not probably too old to actually compete in sports at a professional level. I gave up that dream years ago. As for entertainment, I will always have that dream. I’ve achieved part of it. As for the rest of it, I still have a lot of years ahead, by the grace of God, so who knows? That’s the motto of the biz anyway, who knows? Or better yet, anything can happen.
Other daddys are heroes to me both in their actions and in community, we share a common bond, being daddys.
My dad is a hero and will always be.
As for me, I am constantly assessing and re-assessing and evaluating and monitoring and mindfully examining my job as daddy. The good news is that I get some instant feedback. That doesn’t always mean that it’s POSITIVE feedback! The bad news is that I may not see the full effect of my decisions and behaviors for a while, if ever. Of course, I would love people to think I am heroic. But, that’s not why I do what I do. I want to be my own hero first. I want to make my job enjoyable, and make my joy my job.
Am I a hero? I honestly don’t know.
Thank goodness my sons do. Otherwise I would have to give back the cape.
Photo: Flickr/amccuskey
The post is a reminder that a hero doesn’t need to hit 50 home runs, or lead the league in triple doubles, many times it’s the quiet person who leads by example. It’s a lesson for both children and parents.
I have worked with Jeff now for over six years and he always came across as an honest and honorable human being and I am grateful to call him a friend. I truly enjoyed reading his article because it reminded me of the warm relationship i had with my own father and also my two kids. I would like to believe that I am a hero to my two great children. Thank you Jeff and the best of luck with your dreams and your future.
Alex
Thanks for the feedback, Alex.